Unanticipated
by Lily2026
Summary: Following an accident, Felicity finds herself lost in the world of Tamriel without food or any way to survive. She winds up stumbling into Riften, hungry and poor, looking for work, and happens to stumble into Haelga, who soon has her in a field of work she never expected to be in. In debt, she finds herself stealing to eat and gets herself in far over her head. warning: explicit.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter Text**

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE & WARNINGS **

Hey, thanks for clicking. I'm going to start out by telling you I'm writing this for myself, though that doesn't mean in any way that I'm not putting effort into it. It does mean I'm allowing myself to write at less than my best and my editing - this is just to get my creative juices flowing, figuratively. However, I hope you very much enjoy reading it! It has a different, more casual feel (because 1st pov)

next I need to **warn you** because ff doesn't have tags like ao3, that this story has very BDSM themes, don/sub, and that it's elder scrolls oriented so terminology and such is different. and though always consensual, can be dubious and rough and yes, descriptive smut. If you're not into a sort of poor etiquette though enjoyable sort of deal, don't read this.

The car was boiling hot when I sat down in the driver's seat, the Canadian summer sun roasted the air inside. I turned the key in the ignition, breathing out in relief when I was able to roll down the car windows. The air conditioner was busted, but luckily, windows down and music up was my preference anyway. I put a mix CD in and turned the volume on _Someone Who's Cool_ , pulling out of the driveway and heading right out of town. I was anticipating a day out at the camp, meeting up with some family. It was about an hour's drive out into the middle of nowhere, but it was beautiful.

As I traveled down the rough back roads by myself, I felt bliss, and actually dreaded arriving at the camp. Out here, the air smelled fresh, like flowers and pine trees, and faintly, the ocean. I felt my stress melt off my shoulders, not completely, but a little bit, as I took a turn for an even longer route through the countryside. Out in the middle of nowhere by yourself, there was no stress and no one to bother you. I didn't need to concern myself with plans for the near future. I didn't need to worry about whether I should finish my degree or if I should quit my job. The nagging feeling of restlessness, of unhappiness, with my current life. I had always wanted a more exciting life. I wanted to travel the world. To feel adrenaline in my blood. But, somehow, I wanted a lot of other things too; things you just couldn't have while travelling full time. It was hard to think about.

I was lost in thought, thinking about these unhappy things, when I pulled over near a river. I stepped out of the car and picked my way down the steep hill to the riverside. I heard a car pass by, but thought nothing of it. There were so many trails and waterfalls in this region that pulled over cars were often just vacated for a hike or fishing trip. Or stops like mine, where I just needed some air. I put my phone and headphones on the bank and pulled off my sandals. Sitting on the edge, I reached my feet into the water. It wasn't chilly, really, just felt like a pool. Most water in the area was like that. There wasn't a house in sight when I looked in either direction, and it was quite the steep hill from the road, so I made a spontaneous decision. I had a change of clothes in the car, so I stripped my skirt off and let myself slide into the water. It was refreshing, and nowhere near the first time I had done something such as this. It was actually quite safe most of the time, but as I swam out into the middle of the river, I felt the current pick up.

My feet suddenly couldn't touch the ground, and I let myself go along with the current, simply staying afloat and not fighting it. I was accustomed to being able to edge my way out of the water and then walk upstream should this type of thing happen, but within a few seconds I felt my side crash against a massive protruding rock. As I twisted to get away from it, my head went underwater and for a few seconds I spluttered around, unprepared and without air. I forced myself to calm down after a moment and disoriented, allowed my body to go limp. Once I distinguished which direction I naturally floated in, I swam up in that direction and quickly my head burst into open air.

I was disoriented as hell, but I made my way slowly to the bank without much trouble. The current seemed weaker, and the bank shallower. I stumbled up onto it and sat there, catching my breath. Had the weather changed? It was cloudier than I remembered. The trees didn't look unfamiliar, in fact, they looked like back home; however, they didn't look like the part of the province I had been in. I looked around and still saw no houses in sight, but I hadn't beforehand anyways. First, I turned to find where the road would be, at least at some point, and started to trek up the hill. It was rather uncomfortable without pants, and the pine needles pricked my feet. I wished I had socks, as in my opinion that was always the comfiest way to move around. Quiet and warm.

I didn't find the road at the top of the ridge, but I thought I could see a path a little ways away, so I headed that way. It all seemed very strange. A few steps later, my feet found the clearer path. The sun broke through the clouds for a moment and warmed her still damp skin. It appeared to be a foot path, or maybe for four wheelers as it did appear to have wheel tracks on it. I contemplated following the trail to the right or heading farther in the direction I was already heading in. I couldn't remember if the road curved; for that matter, this area looked nothing like the place I was driving in before. I decided to head down the path, wondering how far I could have possibly floated. There was a pain in my right hip and ribs where I had crashed against the rock.

I hoped desperately that no one would happen across me in this state, but I also hoped that if someone did they would be able to point me back towards my car. I had done something stupid, I thought as I shivered in the breeze. Was is colder? The sun still felt warm in its brief appearances.

In a few minutes, I reached a fork in the road. It had two signs on it, made of carved wood oddly enough. One read "Solitude," and the other "Whiterun," pointing in opposite directions. My eyes nearly bugged right out of my head and I took two steps forwards to touch the sign. My hands slid across the bumpy wood, and it was indeed real. What kind of nerd had put this here? Maybe this was someone's hang out of sorts. Odd. Regardless, I took the direction of the sign reading Whiterun, as it followed along the river. I stood a bit off the rocky path to walk in the grass, which cut my feet a few times but was overall more comfortable.

The real shock came not long later, when I came across a small farm. There was no one outside to notice me nor my odd attire. I took the time to stare in shock at it. There was livestock, a variety like you just don't see back home; farms are either horses for riding, beef cows, or dairy cows. Nothing like this, no goats and pigs, with a garden. No, this looked self-sufficient. And there was fire coming from the chimney - odd for the summer. I moved subconsciously but stayed along the tree line, and from the window I noticed a woman in period clothing. I couldn't tell you what period. There were clothes hanging out to dry, and they were all the same.

I heard a horse coming up along the trail, though I was a ways into the trees by this time. I looked back to see a full cart with three passengers being hauled by a pair of horses. It looked like I had walked into a historical village. I watched the cart move past, and my eyes followed it into the distance. I could see... stone? A city? I squinted harder. The sign had said Whiterun. What the hell was going on? Did I fall asleep? What kind of weird ass dream am I having? I suppose it was one I would have, though more of a daydream. And not really _Elder Scrolls._ No, more like Dragon Age, or something like that. Elder Scrolls? I'd die. Wait.. what?

I took a few confused steps backwards, tripped on a root, and scraped my side against the rough tree. I looked down and saw scratches and a bit of blood, but I was too stunned to really notice. It hurt, more by the second, and it grounded me. Coma? I feel pain, that's for sure.

I'm not sure how long I sat there on the ground; I completely lost track of time. I kept expecting to snap out of whatever was going on, but it didn't happen. Elder Scrolls? What in hell?

Eventually I figured I couldn't keep sitting there. The sun had moved a ways, so perhaps I had sat there, hidden in the thicket, for hours. Regardless, I pulled myself into a squatting position and my body screamed in protest. Leaning around the tree to investigate, I started planning ahead. Nothing is making sense, but I would hit the ground running and move with the flow the same way I had always tried to in life. I was hyper-aware of my lack of pants, and also of my distinct clothing.

I could see the small farm winding down for supper. A couple of children were called inside to eat, and two older men who had been working in the back of the house trudged inside. This was lucky for me, as they left their clothesline unattended. I didn't even think about it, really. I stayed near the treeline until I reached the tree that had one end of the clothesline tied to it. I didn't want to venture out too far, as I could see from my position the window I was able to be spotted from. The first thing I could reach was men's clothes, but I decided to be a bit more ambitious and select the dress that looked like it may fit me, a few steps out into the open.

After a few minutes watching the family, I slowly moved out of my hidden position. The shadows cast by the setting sun helped me hide myself as I slowly pulled the beige dress off the line and retreated into the woods. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I hid myself maybe ten feet into the trees. Adrenaline filled me up. Maybe not full up, but I felt exhilarated.

There, in the woods, I stripped down and started to dress again. I kept my now dry underwear and my slightly damp on the inside bra, and fitted the dress overtop. It did fit me, maybe not perfectly, but well enough. It had strings in the front, which I tightened until they were comfortable. It was a bit scratchy in some places, but it would do the trick.

Then it dawned on me that I didn't have any shoes.

I edged closer to the farm again, but there weren't any shoes in sight, and I had no desire to go any closer. I thought about it for a minute, but figured that the dress covered my feet, so it was unlikely anyone would notice if I was careful. It was relatively comfortable anyway, though with the fading of the adrenaline my aches and pains started to return.

I wished very hard that I had... well, anything. I was completely disoriented as I headed for Whiterun, but I did my best to keep my head.


	2. Chapter 2

I reached the gates, hunger clawing at my stomach, a bit after dark. Everything was by torchlight, and without one, I had beat up my bare feet even more. I had stopped to drink my fill from a stream, which I hoped wouldn't kill me. As I walked up the path, I was mostly ignored by the guards, but I was a bit on edge knowing I would have to speak with someone shortly. I still couldn't make any sense of the situation, but what was I to do? I had been rehearsing in my head for as long as I had been walking.

The gates were closed when I approached; it was after dark after all. There were two guards standing watch, who I approached. I hoped I looked fairly normal as I walked into the torchlight. My hair was dyed a light ginger with black tips; luckily nothing exotic like blue, which it had been before this fairly subdued colour selection. In the dim light, I doubted it looked unnatural, and I had tried to flatten it and make myself look as presentable as possible by the time I arrived. The guard on the right spoke to me first.

"Greetings," he said. "What brings you to Whiterun?"

I found it highly unlikely that he would be intimidated by me. I didn't look intimidating, nor did I feel it. I had decided to just act as normally as possible. "I'm just travelling through. I'd like to stay for a few days and replenish my lost supplies." Implying I'd be purchasing from them was part of the plan; realistically, it would be smart for them to want to let in productive people. Though, I supposed, they probably were only asking because it was after dark.

"Very well then. Welcome to Whiterun."

It wasn't what I expected. The doors swung open, and nothing looked familiar. I could remember the layout of Whiterun, but this was different, bigger. I wandered down the street for a few paces until I realized I didn't know where I was going. There were inns - but I had no money. No stores were open despite my hunger. I had very little on me. I tried to think. My earrings. There were 7 black stainless steel hoops and an industrial bar, but the metal was likely very different from what anyone had here and I wasn't sure how to pawn it after dark.

I didn't wander very far into the city until my exhausted body made me sit down and rest. I was off to the side of a square near a shrine when I must have fallen asleep.

The next thing I knew, I was being pulled to my feet by a steel hand. Someone wearing a gauntlet. I wasn't awake enough to catch myself and I fell forwards onto my face again.

"Get up," a male voice said. I blinks and tried to scramble to my scraped up feet. A guard was looming over me, about a foot taller than myself. He wore a helm and had the Whiterun shield. I barely had time to register that I was still in this backwards, messed-up dream. "We've gotten complaints. I don't know who you're trying to fool, but Whiterun doesn't just let new beggars in for fun." My mouth worked for a second as I tried to wake up enough to formulate a response.

"Well, beggar? What do you have to say? Do you even have any gold, or skills?"

"I'm not a beggar, I swear," I spluttered. "I have this - this ring, here. To sell." I fumbled with my own hands to get it off and show him. Roughly, the guard grabbed my wrist and held the ring up to his face. I suppose he found it suitable for sale, because he released me with a huff.

"You can sell it at Belethor's. He'd buy something like that. After that, you're leaving."

I could tell he was doing me a kindness. He must have orders to throw me out. After all, I was a stranger and not contributing anything to the society. I had spent the night on their streets. I gulped. The guard led me into the general store.

"Good morning!" the shopkeep greeted. The guard returned it in kind and pulled me by the arm over to the counter.

"This girl has a ring to sell you."

"Very well," Belethor said, looking at me expectantly. I pulled the ring off and placed it down on the counter for him to inspect. He lifted it to his eyes and squinted. "It is quite impressive. Gold and emerald. Well made." He paused and considered. "20 gold?"

"Bread. Do you have any bread?" I asked, my hunger taking over. The man looked at me with what I thought must be pity and nodded. He took the ring with him out of the room and returned with a round loaf of fresh bread and a small bag of coins. It looked like the best food I'd ever have in my life.

"Thank you so much," I told him, accepting the goods.

"Time to go," the guard said harshly, and pulled my towards the door by my arm. He released me outside the shop to allow me to eat, but I had to follow him all the way back through town to the gates.

I hadn't been able to see much of the city in the dark, but now it was easy to see how much bigger it was than in the game. I didn't remember every detail of the game, I hadn't really played much of it in a few years, but I remembered the general layout of most of the larger cities. Except Windhelm, that place was always a maze. The houses looked cozy here, and people bustled around attending to their business. There were carts bringing in shipments of food or other goods at the gates, being checked and taxed by the guards. It looked like a real medieval town. I was in awe and barely registered the whole walk until we reached the gates and the guard led me out past the city. We halted by the stables, where he left me to join the other guards at the gates. I knew there was no going back in as long as they remembered me.

What was I supposed to do now? How was I going to survive in this world? There must be some skills I had.

One that stuck out to me was that I was literate. I wasn't sure how different this world was from the game I knew, but in medieval times that would be a marketable skill. However, I didn't know how to write with a quill pen. So that would mean I'd have to practice, in which case I'd have to buy supplies...

Horses. I knew horses well. I'd been riding them since I was ten years old. Perhaps a stable would accept my help. I looked up at the Whiterun stables for a bit, observing the workers there. There were a lot of stable boys sitting around outside playing cards and having lunch. Perhaps they wouldn't need my help here, and after all, that man who would likely be the owner had just watched me get escorted out of the city by a guard.

I had shoplifted before, I admitted to myself. I knew how to do that type of thing. Pickpocketing? Probably not. But in a busy area? Probably. If I had to steal, I could steal. I had stolen this dress, I realized. But... they'd likely chop off my hands if I was caught. This was that sort of society, wasn't it? Well. Last resorts are last resorts.

If only I was a carpenter or some shit like that. I could cut hair a little bit, but I was mostly good at dyeing it for myself and friends. I rarely cut it, and I wasn't sure there would really be that sort of business around here. I could cook; I had worked in a restaurant for a while years ago.

I knew boats. They were one of my favourite things. I love the water. But boats in this time were completely different.

Currently I worked at a specialty pet store. Sales associate. I knew dogs, cats, horses... That really was my best practical skill in this time. I could train animals, care for them, I knew what to feed them. I wasn't sure how to get into that type of thing. A stable, I needed.

In my peripheral, I noticed a cart trudging back down from the city. I turned to the driver and waved. Loudly, I said, "Where are you headed?"

The man slowed down his cart and pulled up beside me. "Riften," he answered. "20 gold."

"I can pay," I told him, and handed him the coin purse. He looked inside and then nodded to me.

"Welcome aboard, then. You can hop in the back."

Grateful, I climbed aboard in the back and sat down with my back against a sack of grain. I hugged my loaf of bread to myself. I was determined to make it last. Riften, huh? Odd. It had always been my favourite. I liked that it was surrounded in water. This is madness.

Off we go, I suppose.

It took about a full day to reach Riften. The merchant, Angor, and I slept underneath the cart overnight, and arrived in Riften around noon that day. He was a quiet guy, didn't really say a whole lot to me, but he was polite and generous. I was stretching out my bread to last, but he gave me some deer meat which I ate readily. I was used to feeling hungry in my regular life. Not because I was poor or in a tight spot, luckily. I admit I made myself suffer out of laziness or some such affliction. Sometimes food just wasn't appealing and I would skip a few meals a day. Once, just a few days ago, I ate nothing but a couple crackers each time I got hungry until I got through the day.

So the bread was doable. My head was starting to ache, however, and I started to eat a bigger chunk of it as we pulled up to Riften.

The first thing I did when we arrived was straighten out my appearance and head to the stables. I scouted out for the man in charge. I was a smaller stable, and there weren't as many people running around as there had been at the large ones by Whiterun.

"Can I help you with something?" a gruff looking man with graying hair greeted me just outside the building. He was seated at a table with some paperwork in front of him and barely looked up.

"Maybe. I'm looking to work," I started. "I know horses. And dogs."

That made him turn to look at me. "No dogs here," he said. He just looked at me for a few seconds after that; sizing me up, I suppose. He frowned slightly and crossed his arms. He didn't seem very regretful when he simply denied me. "I can't help you here. Maybe you should go into the city. You could have better luck at the bunkhouse." At that, he chuckled. A good joke, I supposed. He didn't give me the time of day after that, immediately turning back to his papers. My face fell. What now? I stood there for a few seconds more before I retreated from sight, embarrassed.

With a sigh, I resigned myself and entered the city. I'd have to try everywhere. Shops, an inn, maybe. Serve food, wash dishes. Room and board, maybe get some food out of it. It would be a life.

Inside Riften was beautiful in most ways. It was, again, many times the size of Riften in the games. Part of it was over water, and part of it was on land, same as before. The market was much larger, and there was actually a small port for what looked like large canoes, basically, to dock and unload or load supplies. It was hard to orient myself as most buildings looked the same. On land, some were made o mortar and stone, better quality, more expensive, but over water, everything was made of the same wood. Luckily, there were signs, and eventually I found my way to a few inns. I was rejected at every turn. Perhaps I didn't look very capable? I wasn't sure, but I seemed to be quite down on my luck. I even tried the Argonians at the Bee and Barb.

I couldn't help but wonder why it was I was so down on my luck. I mean, it made sense that it wasn't so easy to just walk into a job; this wasn't actually a video game, after all. But, still, it was bringing me down. I was starting to think about where I would get my next meal.

I entered the next inn without checking the sign on the door. Upon entering, it looked similar to any other inn. This was the fourth one I had tried thus far and I wasn't really paying attention when I walked into the bustling room. I took two steps into the room before I was knocked sideways into a table, which I crashed into unceremoniously. It crumpled beneath me and something glass and metal shattered next to me. I felt a shard of glass scratch my arm. It was getting later in the day, and I was getting hungry, which fogged up my head even more and I wasn't quite sure what was happening. I didn't move until someone rolled me over. A woman was shouting at me.

"Do you know how much that cost me?! Who the fuck are you? I swear to god, you're going to replace that!" She looked like a small woman, a bit older. Not unattractive, per se, but not great. The person who had shoved me was bigger, and a man, and armoured. A bouncer of sorts?

"I don't have any coin!" I shouted, interrupting the woman's continuing rant. She quieted and crossed her arms, sizing me up. I wasn't anywhere near used to the feeling, despite the amount of times people had been doing it today. I tried to shrink away from her sight. I heard her sigh loudly and wave another woman over to her. This one was much prettier; she had blonde hair, and wore a loose-fitting dress and some make up. The older woman conversed quietly with the other before turning her attention back to me, with a savage look on her face. It wasn't so bad that she was openly smiling, but I could see this glint in her eye that told me she thought she was going to get exactly what she wanted.

"Can you work?"

I paused for a second. Hadn't that been why I had come in here?

"Of course," I replied. The bouncer man pulled me onto my bare feet and the older woman held her hand out to me.

"I'm Haelga, and this is Olsa," she introduced herself and the other woman. I smiled a bit, afraid of the looks on their faces - or rather, the looks behind their expressions that screamed threats and made me want to hide.

"I'm Felicity."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** warning some NSFW sex and stuff.

It was a brothel. I didn't really realize where I was at first, starving and filthy, still without shoes. As the girl brought me into a back room with a few bathing tubs and mirrors, make up, and a selection of dresses, I started to realize what was going on. There were other girls, washing up or getting ready for the evening, presumably. There weren't many, and I hadn't seen many up front that looked like the ones back here. Olsa waved a woman about my age over to us.

"Get this new girl a bath," she ordered. The older woman turned abruptly, dropping her tight grip on my arm, and stalked back out into the front room. I looked up at the tall girl who she had apparently put in charge of me. She was blonde, with long, wavy hair and blue eyes, clearly a Nord.

"Don't mind her," the girl told me. "I don't think Olsa likes her job very much. I'm Anika."

It took me a few seconds to reply to her kindness. I was somewhat shocked. What was I getting myself into? "I'm Felicity."

"Let's get you cleaned up," she offered with a wide smile. I returned the smile hesitantly, hoping none of this would be too unpleasant: and indeed it was not. She led me over to a bathtub. I was the happiest I had been in days. I was coated in dirt, lake water, and even dried blood in some places. No wonder no one had hired me, I probably looked like a mess. _Why does Haelga think I look good enough to be a whore?_ I suppose it was some kind of compliment. Even through the grime, I guess she could see I was fairly pretty.

The hot water felt refreshing and relaxing. It eased my aches and pains. I was able to scrub grime and blood off myself with a wool cloth-sponge type of object. Anika stayed with me and helped me get my back. She brought me soaps. I was grateful. We had to empty the tub and refill it again.

"Have you ever had sex?" she inquired at one point during the bath. I was taken off guard by the question, but supposed that it was to be expected as I was unwittingly entering that field of work. What the hell was I doing, again? It was utter madness.

"Erm, yes, I have," I replied. I had, quite a lot, but only with one person over a four-year relationship. However - it was good sex. But, I wasn't confident that I could do it with someone new. Would the same tricks... work? I supposed everybody was different.

"Good," she said. "I'm sure you're afraid, but it really isn't so bad. I mean, some days - some clients - are. But some are good. Most are just lonely."

Anika kept talking as she got me clean and outfitted me with a new, loose dress like the other girls wore. It seemed to me that she actually liked working here, which I didn't wholly expect from this sort of establishment. She told me about how Haelga takes cuts from the girls' pays, fairly significant ones. I suspected mine would be even heavier. She told me about how there are usually patrons for their services nightly, and even more downstairs just looking for drinks. She would show me the room I was to use once I had a client. Sometimes, they have to tease clients who are drinking into paying for the extra service. Haelga will be angry if we don't take clients at night.

She gave me the run down, basically. My cuts and bruises weren't so bad when I looked at them. The worst of it was my feet, which were fairly scraped up. It felt good when Anika gave me some sandals. She also showed me the make up - which I was very careful with. Makeup was historically made of lead at one point, and I didn't want to mess with that. I settled for just using the plant pastes and kohl, but all the same, I felt good to be wearing make up again. It made me feel a bit more confident.

As Anika helped me in the back room, the other girls would pop in and out for varying lengths of time. Anika introduced me to each one, and even though there were only five or so others, it would be hard to recall all of their names. There was a Valentia, and an Eleanor.

After I was put to right, hair brushed and make up done, I felt better. I think it was a mercy on Anika's part that when she showed me the room I was to use, she managed to find some time for me to wind down up there by myself. I leaned back on the bed, trying not to think about the surface I was on, and relaxed. I fell asleep.

Anika woke me up gently, for which I was grateful. She brought a hot plate of food with her; the smell caused my stomach to growl loudly.

"Haelga takes extra money from us to pay for our rooms and food," she explained. "It's technically optional, and leaves most of us with barely enough to have a drink or save up a bit every week."

I tried not to eat like a pig in front of her, but I did rush it a fair bit. It really hit the spot and I made sure not to overeat. After I finished, she took the plate and led me towards the door. Before we went out, she stopped and was looking at me but avoiding my eyes, and biting her lip lightly.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well," she started, "that was mine, you see. Haelga said... you'd have to make a "hell of a lot more" than is usual to be able to afford it on top of what you owe her. I'm sorry - the rest of us will help when we can."

It surprised me a little, but it could be worse. I mean, they'll help me with food, right? As long as I could eat a little bit, I could manage. At least, that was my thought - I hoped I was as strong as I made out myself to be. I knew at least I was stubborn enough. "Thank you. I really needed it."

She looked to be cheered from my gratitude, and proceeded to lead me downstairs. As soon as we descended into the common room, somebody called Anika's name and she gave me an apologetic glance before moving towards a table of customers. I stepped back towards the wall, trying to be as unobtrusive as possible, as I began to watch the others go about their work. If I was really going to be doing this, I needed to have an idea of what _this_ was.

Some of the girls were moving fluidly between table with trays of drinks, or plates of food. Others were stationed at tables, some were focusing on one person in particular. Anika, for example, was leaning in towards one client and talking in his ear. So, seduce. It was late in the evening, I assumed with a glance out the window at the dark night sky, and people were getting rowdier. I saw a man slap the ass of one of the serving girls. Some of the girls bringing food and drink looked to be prostitutes, but some were dressed as simple barmaids and likely they hadn't signed up for that sort of treatment, especially judging by the look on the girl's face.

The room wasn't huge, but it seemed busy enough. Most of the patrons - nearly all - were middle aged men. I assumed, and hoped, that most of them were unmarried, career types. Though, it was unlikely they all were. I knew already some would just be lonely. It was easy to assume.

Perhaps there was something to sizing someone up before you approached. You needed to know the angle you needed to work. _People are predictable, you just-_

"Felicity!" a sharp snap of my name drew me out of my thoughts. Haelga was waving me over. As I approached, she continued, "I have a client for you to take up to his room."

Nerves clenched in my stomach.

The guy didn't look too intimidating. Maybe Haelga had actually been kind in her selection, but I doubted for some reason she had put much thought into it. He wasn't ugly by any means, though not really my type. He was looked about thirty, with dirty blonde hair and a thin beard. Taller than me, which wasn't hard at all considering I was 5'4.

 _If I'm going to do this, I may as well do it fucking right_ , I thought. I fluffed my hair up and pushed my bangs back before approaching. I wished these sandals were heels; heels always made me feel like I could take on the world. As I walked over and stood in front of the client, I made a show of looking up and down him. I tried to appear impressed.

"Hey there," I said with a smile. He didn't look lonely, or rough, so I hadn't quite figured out why he was here. He wasn't at a table with others, so maybe he wasn't a regular client. I leaned a bit closer to him and smelled alcohol. Maybe this wouldn't last long. I tried not to chuckle. I took him by the hand and led him to the stairs, taking occasional glances back at him and smiling. I hoped Haelga was content. I tried to imitate what the other girls did.

I released the man's hand as I pushed open the door into the candlelit room where I had napped earlier. I wished I had lube or something to that effect. Maybe the others had something like that? Damn. I should've prepared in that sense.

The client was quiet. He hadn't said anything to me up until this point, and I hoped he wasn't about to completely change demeanor. Maybe? It might be easier if he suddenly just threw me down, considering I was concerned about being able to make him believe I was enjoying it.

Regardless, he pulled me into him and kissed me as soon as I had the door closed behind me. It was fairly enjoyable, and it was at this point I decided I had to throw myself into this. I wasn't very accustomed to, well.. taking the lead. But I had a good idea of what people want. Time to stop analyzing my situation; I figured I'd have to fantasize during this.

I kissed the man harder, backing him up towards the bed. When his knees hit up against the mattress, I broke the kiss and pushed him into a sitting position by his shoulders. I grinned at him and he seemed to be content to let me take the lead. I looked at his eyes while I undid the belt around my dress and pushed the straps over my shoulders. The loose-fitting gown slid down my body, and I was sure my about average looks would look good in the candle light. He seemed to appreciate it as he looked at me, thoughts clearly written on his face. I felt a prickle of discomfort about him staring at me, but I ignored it as I sat down in his lap. His hands immediately started roving around on my body and I didn't really find it too discomforting. It was like a one night stand, really. I hoped he'd at least be a bit of fun, but he seemed just like your average dude. Regardless, I slid down off of him and knelt in front of the bed. My eyes were about at his shoulder since the bed was quite short.

I undid the laces on his shirt and pushed it back. I slid my hands down his chest and rested at the laces on his pants, which I undid. I pushed the flaps aside and released his cock, which was semi-hard. I spread my legs slightly and began to touch myself as I went down on him, deciding this would probably be a good opportunity to get myself ready for this. I was fairly used to doing it myself, though sometimes I'd had fairly good sex. I think?

He was probably an average size, and I was able to do this comfortably with one hand. I did this for a few minutes, occasionally moaning for the vibrations. It was the first time I started to actually hear this guy's voice. He wasn't very vocal, but I heard his breathing get heavier and he swore a couple of times. I leaned back off of him and looked up through my eyelashes.

He moved quick, making me squeak as he switched our positions. He pulled his pants all the way off as I settled into the covers, and he was quickly on me. A second later he had inserted himself into me, and I was grateful for my own preparations and my saliva, though the feeling still felt quite foreign. It had been a while since I had sex, but even this felt good. I made sure to be vocal and pull the man into me, though it was mostly faked. He was a kind man, luckily, just wanted something simple; that just wasn't what made me sincerely lose control.

When I started to hear him grunt and move quicker, I faked an orgasm for him. I clenched all my muscles and let out a few loud squeaks. Not what I actually sounded like, honestly, but good enough for him, apparently, because he spent himself all over my stomach a second later. He rolled off me a second later and sat up on the side of the bed. I stayed laying in the blankets, pretending to be in some kind of post sex haze. He started to pull on his pants and tie up his shirt. Before he left, he actually turned to me and kissed me. Did he realize I was being payed? Pfft. I suppose the trick is to make him think he's more impressive than any man you've ever had. I guess he was satisfied.

After he exited the room, I finally got up. I felt a bit sore between my legs for sure; it had been a long time, after all. There was a washbasin which Anika had showed me before. I made my way over to it and started to wash myself with the rag and bar of soap.

I hadn't really considered the idea of getting pregnant. I had only honestly remembered that it was a concern when he actually spent himself. It wasn't like I had always been the most careful; I hadn't touched a condom in years - but I had always been on the pill, despite my not so great habits of forgetting to take it on time. I wasn't so concerned because after the amount of times I had had sex and forgotten to take it, you'd think it'd have happened by now. Though, I knew from Biology classes that it was actually quite a bit harder than people made it out to be to actually get pregnant. They say pulling out doesn't work, and it doesn't, because precum, but like, I always found it to be less risky? Like, there definitely wasn't no difference. Less sperm, less chances.

I brushed off the thoughts, honestly just unable to worry myself over it. In my previous life I hadn't been able to worry myself much over it either.

Finished cleaning myself up, I put the dress and shoes back on before heading back downstairs to see if I had to do anything else. I hoped I wasn't expected to take another client.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** Thanks to Cyclone160 for the review I appreciate it, thanks for reading.

* * *

I got no pay from that night or any that followed. I bought nothing, no boots like I would've liked to have or anything else. Luckily, Anika and another girl, Lyra, became friends to me and they helped me. I could tell they pitied my situation with Haelga. She slapped me at one point for talking back about my pay; I still had a bit of a bruise. I was grateful that they gave me a comfortable pair of clothes for going out into town, and they slipped me about a plate of food a day, but I was usually still hungry all day until supper. I had basically had every craving in the book at this point.

The next week went that way. The jobs were mediocre, basically like the first one. I guess I had slept with quite a few people at this point, but I was proud that I was getting good at it. I was getting more comfortable being a bit more in control. Some of them were attractive, some weren't. Either way, I mostly used the same techniques I had the first time, though the other girls did get me an oil-lube of sorts to use beforehand, which made things more comfortable. One guy had cried - that was an uncomfortable night. It was really quite pathetic. I was glad I had slept with him before, not after. I had some techniques now. Sometimes, I just went right for what I knew they were in my room for; other times, I would blush and pretend to be nervous or modest. It all depended on the man. Many likes the naive play, since it wasn't what you usually got from whores.

I spent an evening or two at the Bee and Barb with the other girls. I didn't have the coin to spend like they did, but I they bought me a drink or two and I got some man to get me some as well. Didn't sleep with him, though he probably thought I was going to. I wished I had the coins. This life wasn't terrible; I had come to terms with it, more or less, but I couldn't help but wish for my own bed and apartment. My cat, my parents, I had a couple friends I sort of missed, though I hadn't been super close with anybody in the past year.

I was standing in the marketplace, the smell of freshly cooked food permeating from multiple shops and stalls. I leaned against the stone wall, just watching everyone go about their business. I was hungry, and I was ready to eat. That was for damn sure. I was sick of being hungry all day, and if Haelga wasn't going to pay me shit, I was going to take another approach. I would've killed for a few bites of food. Perhaps stealing wasn't far off from the expression. I had been sizing up a baker's shop. The front of the shop opened up in the day and there was a lot of baked goods, breads, rolls, and other such products on display. I had a brown sack hanging at my hip just for this plan. I'd been eyeing some of those pastries since the day before. I had selected this guy in particular since he was clearly checking me out. I pretended not to notice for the time being. Basically, without any money, I needed a reason to be inside one of these shops. From what I noticed, people did browse and leave in some places, like jewelry or weapons merchants, but food? No. I needed a reason to be in there.

I started to walk around the market, pretending not to notice him yet. There were a few people browsing in his shop - another reason I chose it to get my snack. Perhaps it was a lot of effort to go through for some rolls, but I was tired of the hunger.

I met the man's eyes before entering the shop. I caught his gaze on me and forced a flattered, or maybe an embarrassed look over my face, but I smiled at him and didn't look away. Since he met my look, I approached. I hoped this would work out well, but I felt powerful, and the adrenaline was pumping. Over bread, my thoughts intruded. That's a little sad.

I approached the man's counter with a smile on my face and I tried to blush - I couldn't really tell if I did or not. Either way, I looked sheepish. I'd always had good facial control.

"Hello," I greeted, playing with my hair as though I was some kind of schoolgirl.

"Hi, miss, can I get you anything?" he offered, not actually looking me in the face. I'd purposefully arranged my dress and corset (another article of clothing I wasn't super accustomed to yet) to show off my assets. I smiled sheepishly.

"Well, I just..." I started and then looked away. When I did, I tried to get my eyes on the most accessible baked goods. There was a bowl full of rolls off to the side which was likely my best option. I could probably grab a couple. "I just saw you, and..." I trailed off, and now I actually was a little embarrassed to be acting like this. It all had a purpose though. The man looked up at my face now and smiled warmly at me.

"Perhaps I could meet you later tonight for a drink?" he suggested. I lit my face up with a smile and leaned over the counter. There were a few tarts line up just in front of me, and I wrapped my hand around one while our eyes met.

"That would be lovely!" I exclaimed. A customer had lined up behind me and he cleared his throat loudly, a loaf of bread in his hands which he intended to pay for. I looked back sheepishly, rising and keeping the tart hidden in my palm. It had been a spur of the moment decision. I turned my attention back to the baker and smiled at him again. "Sorry... See you." I turned and walked slowly through the couple of people there before sliding the tart into my bag. It would be a bit crushed, but it would taste good. I put my body in between me and the baker as I slipped a roll into each of my hands and kept moving out of the shop. It wouldn't be strange to have a roll once I was out of sight, so I turned the corner and shoved one into my bag while I tied into the other.

When you were eating one meal a day, a fresh baked roll was amazing. I leaned against the wall of a building and observed the market as I bit into it. It was warm and buttery and gone in a minute or two. I found I didn't really recognize NPCs from the games. It felt like the game I had played was based on this world, but this world was so much more than that.

I have to say, seeing an Argonian was a huge shock. Khajiits as well. It was really quite unsettling at first, but I had been watching them and getting used to seeing them so that I didn't give them such odd looks. I was mostly used to it now, but I still thought that it I turned around to run into one it could startle me much more than usual. Over the next few days, I spend a lot of time strolling through town and getting to know it. I enjoyed walking along the canal. It wasn't as gross as I expected, but it was a little. It was definitely cool to see how the city had been built over water, though.

As I looked over the market, I admired how well my plan had worked. I was glad it gave me the reason I needed to be in there, and I doubted he would expect the pretty girl stole his rolls. I doubted he would notice at all. And I felt my hunger dissipate.

Two days later, I found myself hanging out in the square again. This time I wasn't thinking about rolls; I was thinking about money. I'm not sure why I was getting so ambitious, but I found myself walking through some stalls and stopping by a jewelry one. It was smaller than the one beside it run by an Argonian, but I selected it because the man was actually with another customer. He had a display of necklaces, rings, and bracelets, of varying values. Some were clearly more expensive. He had an ornate bowl full of rings, which made my job much easier. I started poking around in it, examining rings. I took one or two out and held them up to my face before putting them back. The customer beside me, a wealthy looking woman, appeared to be complaining and giving the merchant a hard time. All the better for me. The rings in the bowl weren't low grade exactly, but they weren't the ornate ones he had in small display cases. Still, they'd be worth a bit of money sometime. I slipped two into my sleeve as I perused, ones with gems, assuming they would be more valuable.

After that, I meandered away and made sure to casually look at the next jewelry merchant's stall. I made sure I wasn't leaving in any haste. It wouldn't do to be too obvious.

When I returned to my room, I placed the rings in a little jewelry box, and placed that box underneath my bed.

The next few days went similarly. Slowly, my little box filled. It wasn't very full, but I ad started a bit of a collection under my bed. I had some jewelry, mostly, as well as some coins, probably 30. I had bumped into someone and slipped his coin purse off. I took one coin out of each of my client's bags, as long as they had enough money in them that I didn't think they would miss it or suspect. I didn't take more, since I didn't want them blaming the establishment, me, or any of the other girls. I spent the gold on lunch each morning out in the market, but since I had stood up that baker, I avoided his store.

"Has Haelga started paying you yet?" Anika asked me one day, about half a week after I started stealing. Her, Lyra and I were sitting around at the Bee and Barb just before we had to go back to work, and she had seen me pay for a meal in coin.

"Barely," I lied. "It's a bit better, but it takes days for a meal, still."

"That's terrible. She treats most of us like shit, but I wonder if she'll ever decide you don't owe her anymore," Lyra wondered.

"Probably not," I said. "The bitch has me where she wants." I shrugged, diving into the meal the barmaid brought over to me. It was chicken and potatoes, and it was fantastic. I missed deep fried food, though, and spices. Ethnic foods. I wished I had access to a kitchen and ingredients.

"We need to get to work, soon," Lyra said. She looked a little excited, which was strange; I thought she felt basically how I did about the job.

"What is it, huh?" Anika asked. "Mica?"

"I think he's coming back. Damn, he's fun!" she laughed and bit her lip. I wondered if she was fond of him, and he her, or if it was just sex.

"Ooooh," I grinned, teasing my friend. "Lucky you, then! That hasn't happened to me, yet."

"Really?" Anika asked. "I've had some of your clients. Some are pretty fun. Some, obviously, aren't but, still."

"Meh," I said. "Not my type, I suppose."

Anika shrugged. "All right. Should we go?" I had just scraped my plate clean, so I agreed, and we stood to head back to the bunkhouse.

Lyra's guy was indeed there with a couple of his friends when we arrived. She hurried over there right away and seemed genuinely all over him. Anika and I exchanged a happy glance. Good for her. Maybe she'd move out of here.

"See you later," Anika said, as she went off to start finding a client.

I went into the back room first and freshened up my makeup. It didn't last very well, since it tended to be plant goop and dyes. Kohl was pretty good, though without any kind of setting spray, my oily eyes gave me a difficult time. It took a few minutes to be satisfied with my appearance, but I was. I fluffed up my hair and straightened my clothes before I headed out into the common room, intending to get to work.

Haelga grabbed my arm as I exited the room. I almost jumped as I turned my attention to her. She pulled me over to her desk. She stepped behind it and looked at me with hard eyes.

"I have a client for you."

"O... kay?" I asked. I wasn't sure why she was being so serious, like it was some occasion. She looked at me for a few more seconds before she reached under the bar and brought her hand back up with a couple of coins. She placed them in my hand, looking sour about it. So she was going to start paying me. That was it.

"Go wait for him."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: warning** this is pure smut, nsfw, rough sex, blah blah blah warning you.

I waited in my room for a few hours. I was dazing in a chair rather late at night when there was finally a knock on the door. I startled into alertness and took a second to adjust my hair in the mirror before I went over to the door. Half of the candles in my room had burnt out, but it was still enough to make out most details once my eyes had adjusted.

The strange man on the other side of the door looked rough. Some of the men I'd had were rougher than others, but this man looked more so. His hair was ruffled and in the dim light, I couldn't even make out the colour. Before I could say anything, he simply let himself in and stepped in front of me to close the door behind him. When he turned around, he fixed me with a look that made me squirm.

"You're new," he said. I tried to put on the same act as I did for any client, but I found it slipping a little. None of them had ever looked at me with such intensity.

"Yeah," I answered. It was a bit of a choked reply. He made a noise as though considering it... me. I wanted to go into the usual routine, but I felt uncomfortable. I wasn't sure how to gain any control with this man. I couldn't discern what he wanted like I could with the others. The man had a sort of presence about him; something not ordinary. He appeared to shrug after a second and finally reached out to touch me. Finally, finally. Something that made me feel somewhat normal. Closer to what I was accustomed to from this job. He reached out and brushed my hair behind my shoulders before slowly pushing each strap on my chest off my shoulders. The fabric pooled down at my feet and suddenly I was naked. When the dress fell to the floor, he broke the eye contact and started looking down my body instead.

I was never modest. I was comfortable in my own skin and wore a lot of revealing clothes. I was never sheepish about getting undressed. Though, this guy looking at me made me shiver, and not in a bad way? I couldn't decide. It made me nervous but heat pooled in my stomach while he just _looked at me_ like _that._ He reached out and tangled his hand through my hair, settling at the base of my neck. A second later, his grip tightened roughly, but not enough to hurt, just a bit uncomfortable, and he pulled me into him. My completely naked body pressed up against him and he pulled my hair back until my face tipped up to look at him. He had an unreadable look on his face and he scanned mine for a moment. I'm not sure what he read on my face, but he abruptly moved, taking steps towards me, forcing me to step back until I felt my naked back press up against the wooden door. I let out an alarmed gasp and I think I saw his lip twitch upwards for half of a second. His hand was still tangled in my hair, but his grip was loose now.

I reached up hesitantly to start undoing his shirt. As soon as my hand touched the fabric, his free hand flew out of nowhere, quick as a cat, and pinned my offending hand against the wall next to me. Unconsciously, I let out a sharp moan and heat filled my body. I hadn't felt like this in a long time, especially not with any of the other clients. This man had a commanding presence. I looked up at his face. He wasn't very tall, but neither was I, so he still had a few inches on me.

The man had a nearly unreadable face, but I could've sworn he was about to grin. He held me there for a little bit. I considered testing him with my other hand, but admittedly I still felt really nervous in my gut. The arousal was getting to me and I was letting my guard down, but realistically, it was quite late at night, and this man could just kill me and leave before anyone knew. Haelga had been acting a bit weird as well. But he _had_ taken my dress off, my brain argued. _So he probably just wants to let off some damn steam like everyone else._

"Get down," he ordered gruffly, taking a step away from me. He released my arm, but used his hand on the back of my neck to give me a shove in the direction of the floor. Realizing what was wanted, I got myself down there onto my knees. The wood dug in a little bit and I wished I had my dress to cushion my knees. The man stepped back and undid the laces on his pants before taking a step towards me so that he was directly in front of me. He tangled on of his hands in my hair and made me look up at him again. I made a little noise in the back of my throat out of nerves. I met his eyes for a second. There was a twinkle in them; I supposed he was enjoying my... disorientation? He took his other hand and caressed my chin with his thumb on my bottom lip. He eased my mouth open with it and then probed my mouth briefly with his thumb. He gentle pushed my jaw down before pushing his unlaced pants down with the same hand and pulling out his cock. He pushed it into my mouth and I quickly raised a hand up to grab the base of his cock because I knew I could never fit it all in my mouth, but to my dismay he knocked my hands away with a grunt. He slowly pushed in and out of my mouth, a bit deeper each time, until I gagged. Not that he stopped then. Actually he started moving quicker and quicker. I felt wetness pool between my legs to match the feeling of being out of control. My eyes were watering, as my gag reflex was working against my in this instance.

My hands clenched at the fabric of his pants over his thighs as I choked a little bit. My eyes watered and I looked up at his face through the tears. I wasn't upset, honestly, but him plunging in and out of my mouth was making my gag reflex struggle. I had once thrown up a little bit from experiencing this, but that was a long time ago. I knew I was a bit better now and I also knew I really _couldn't_ do that in this situation. When I met his eyes, his face didn't change much, but he pushed himself as far as he could manage and held himself there. I spluttered around his cock and he tightened his grip on my hair. In response, a little moan came out. His grip tightened even more and he looked rather satisfied before he pulled back and released me entirely. I fell foward and caught myself on my hands.

I stayed there, breathing heavily for a few moments on my hands and knees. The stranger was pacing around me as I caught my breath, and he stopped just behind me to the left. I rubbed my face, wiping the tears away. No other client I'd had so far had fucked my mouth like that. _Sadly_ , they had usually been content to let me go at my own pace, which I thought I did pretty good at.

I was pulled out of my stupor in surprise when a resounding _slap_ landed right on my ass. I jumped a little bit and let out a loud squeak. It was fairly light, all things considered. A while ago I had been used to worse than what was going on now. _Better_. The slight sting faded and the hand-print felt warm. I arched my back a little bit, leaning on my forearms. Giving in to the arousal, I let out a little moan and was rewarded with another slap on the other side. I groaned. A second later, a hand found it's way to my center and pressed against my entrance. He coated two of his fingers in my arousal before wiping his hand off on my ass. He made a satisfied sound and slapped me one more time. I choked out a squeak, starting to completely lose my head. I pressed my forehead against my arms on the ground. I'd been soaked since he pushed my up against that wall and grabbed my wrist.

He slowly walked around me and leaned down to pull me to my feet by my upper arm. His grip was tight and pinched my skin a little bit.

"Get on the bed," he commanded. I choked back another moan as he gave me a sturdy shove in the direction. I rolled onto the furs and mattress and turned to look up at him. He was slowly rubbing up and down his cock in one hand, his pants now discarded somewhere in the room. I had enough focus to give a brief thought to picking his pockets, but something about this man's dangerous aura told me I wouldn't get the chance. And somehow, I thought I might regret it if I did.

He joined me on the bed, but stayed up on his knees. He reached down and nudged me to roll onto my stomach. I did, and I guess I wasn't in the exact position he wanted, because he gripped my hips roughly enough to leave a mark and pulled me into position. I had no chance to adjust when he suddenly pushed inside of me. I squealed quietly in shock, but I was more than wet enough to be ready. It still felt a bit tight, but regardless, he started a hard and deep pace and leaned in over my back. One hand steadied himself on the bed and the other tangled in my hair and pulled back, forcing my back to arch. I moaned and gasped and he started thrusting into me even faster. Every so often, a deep thrust would push up against my cervix and I would try to squirm away, but he had a firm grasp on me.

His breath was hot on my ear. He released my hair and reached back to slap my ass one more time. I was out of my mind at this point, I doubted I could tell him my name if he asked. He bit down on the back of my shoulder and I nearly shouted, my muscles contracting like crazy. I swear to god my knees were going to give out. I nearly screamed when he reached around in front of me and started slowly circling my clit with two fingers. I bucked my hips back into him and shoved my face into the pillow, pulling my shoulder and neck out of reach of his nips. His other hand came aorund the other side and squeezed my left breast _hard_ before pinching the nipple. I jumped, and in response he pushed harder with his other hand. I was probably an inch from an orgasm when he pulled back completely, removing all contact between our bodies.

I breathed in heavily, gasping and clenching my fists into the fur blankets. I nearly sobbed in frustration. Quietly, I choked out a small "please." He must've faintly heard me because he immediately flipped me over and leaned in over top of my body. He forced himself between my legs and pinned my hands above my head with one hand; it drove me mad and I moaned even louder, kicking my legs out in frustration. He leaned in until his mouth was next to my ear, his breath hot on my skin. His grip on my hands tightened and I tested it, pushing and pulling my hands lightly. To my delight, his muscled body didn't budge.

"What was that?" he muttered directly in my ear. I choked on a gasp and didn't speak for a second. There were times when my pride would have gotten ahead of me here, but I was beyond all of my inhibitions. Sometimes it was fun to resist, but I wasn't in that mindset.

"Please!" I sobbed louder, bucking my hips around. He let out a thoughtful _mmm._

"Stop moving," he growled, and brought a hand up to grab my throat. I almost bucked my hips again, but I forced myself to still with a small moan. I nodded around his grasp and closed my eyes. A second later, I was surprised by him pushing at my entrance again. He released my arms but kept his grasp on my neck. His free hand guided himself into me and I gasped. My hands flew up to his back and tangled in the fabric of his tunic. I had almost forgotten that he hadn't completely undressed. His hand tightened on my throat, enough that my breathing slowed and I made some noises, but no more. He could have.

A second later, he was reaching down to circle my clit again. He loosened his grip on my throat as an orgasm ripped through me. My legs thrashed around and his hand reached around to scratch my ass cheek. As I came down from the high, I nearly went limb with exhaustion. I couldn't imagine how late it was. A few mildly uncomfortable thrusts later, the strange client had spent himself on my thigh with quite a loud grunt-moan. He stepped back from me afterwards, basically immediately. I lied there in a stupor as the man washed himself in _my_ basin and pulled his pants back on. I had a brief thought for the coins jingling in his purse. Dressed, he didn't say another word to me, though he did halt before opening the door and our eyes met for a few, long seconds. I was clearly well fucked, and the cocky ass look he gave me told me he _fucking knew it_. Even after all that, his look made me blush.

I didn't manage to get up and clean myself off before I fell right asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

When I woke up, it was light out. I was also disgusting, with fluids dried all over me. I wasn't sure how long I had slept and I felt very disoriented, again. I was getting tired of feeling that way. I was a bit groggy, but I rolled out of bed and started to wash myself. I basically wiped myself off until I was semi-presentable and then headed downstairs to draw a bath. Did I mention drawing a bath in this damn place is hell? I wished I could just turn a nozzle and have beautiful hot water come out. Nope. Buckets.

As I was entering the back room, I ran flat into Lyra. She looked surprised.

"Did you just wake up?" she asked. My eyebrows creased.

"Yeah, I did. Why? Is it late?"

"It's midday," she told me, looking a bit concerned.

"I was up late. I had a client who came really late at night for some reason." It was the first time I'd acknowledged it, and I furiously fought off a blush. Who was he?

"Oh," she said, looking at me with pity and a sort of knowing look. Like she knew who it must have been; most clients didn't come so late at night. It was like being here after close, though unofficial. I didn't want to ask her, though. "Do you want help with a bath?"

"That would be amazing," I replied, ecstatic.

As we carried the water over, I worried a bit about getting undressed in front of her. I thought I might have some marks. Luckily, Lyra puttered away as the bath was nearly filled. I finished up and immediately eased myself into it. I always liked my baths basically hot enough to burn my skin. Something about it was soothing.

As I started scrubbing myself with soap, I examined my sore body for any marks. There were light ones, nothing too noticeable, really. I supposed it could have been harder. Wouldn't that be nice? I pushed that thought away, somewhat embarrassed. How had I enjoyed that so much?

Late that evening, I was headed to the Bee and Barb with my spare coin to buy a drink and get a hot meal. I knew maybe I should be saving it all to afford food, but I wasn't very good at prioritizing. If I wanted something, I went for it. And I was going for some drinks.

I was never fond of beer, but ale was better, and mead even better than that. So, it was nice to be around so much local mead. Half the time, I wasn't sure what kind I was drinking. Tonight, I was sitting alone. The other girls were working, but Haelga had given me the night off. It wasn't like her. I wondered if maybe she wanted my bruises to heal. Whatever. Good for me. So, I sat with my back tot he wall at one of the smallest tables off to the side. I felt secure to survey the room, which is what I did until my plate of food arrived. Then I turned my attention to it, which was a bit of a lapse on my part, because I didn't realize someone had sat down across from me. I jumped a little bit and looked up at the man. He was a Nord with long, red hair.

"Can I... help you?" I muttered, confused.

"Maybe," he said. He had a thick accent. He leaned a bit closer. "You've been slipping your hands into half the pockets in Riften."

I froze, but kept my face still. I didn't know what to say for a second. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I've been watching you for weeks, lass." He paused. "I have a proposal for you."

Holy fuck, I realized. That's fucking Brynjolf. I had nearly forgotten that the Thieves Guild was around. I wasn't sure how, but I had. Suddenly I had this guy in front of me, aware of my habits, likely about to suggest I steal something for him. My voice was caught in my throat, but ever one to roll with the punches, I looked him in the eye and quirked an eyebrow.

"Put those skills to use. There'll be coin."

"What are you suggesting?" I finally asked, my voice a little hoarse.

"Tomorrow, I'm going to meet a merchant named Haf. I'm going to give him a sheet of paper. You get it back. Simple."

I sat there thinking for a moment. I was glad he wasn't asking me to steal Madesi's Silver Ring and plant it on whatshisname. I couldn't pick locks. This, though... I could probably do this. But what if he gave me other jobs, and I couldn't? I could learn. I'd always sort of thought it would be a cool skill. Join the Thieves Guild? What the hell are you thinking, Felicity? my mind screamed.

But... I couldn't resist an opportunity as exciting as that.

I met Brynjolf early the next afternoon. He signaled me and pointed out the mark. I felt somewhat nervous, but watched very closely as Brynjolf spoke to him for a few minutes before handing him a folded piece of paper. Carefully, he tucked it into a pocket in his pants. I was relieved that it wasn't somewhere inside his coat. It would've been a hassle if he had tucked it into his shirt, or something. As the two separated, I trailed after Haf. I wanted to make sure to brush past him while he was in the crowded market.

I cut ahead of him across the market square, assimilating myself into the crowd of people. Acting naturally, I bumped into quite a few people. It was rather commonplace, luckily. I was getting practiced at pickpocketing. I was more at home swiping things off shelves, but this was becoming more normal for me. When I reached Haf, heading in the opposite direction from me, I lined myself up with his left side, the same side I watched him put the page in. I checked for the angle of his pocket and let my arms fall down to my sides. I brushed lightly against him to make sure the feeling of something against his side wasn't a surprise. I angled my hand backwards to slip into the pocket and pinched the letter between my fingers. I held onto it as we both kept moving and it slid seamlessly out of his pocket. I tucked it in my bag and made my way out of the market center.

I met Brynjolf outside the market in the opposite direction from where Haf headed. He was waiting for me, sitting on a stone windowsill. I appeared in front of him and leaned up against the stone wall before pulling out the sheet of paper and offering it to him. He took it and tucked it into some inner pocket in his clothes. For a few seconds, he appeared to be considering me.

"You haven't been doing this long, have you?" he asked. I shrugged and hesitated before answering honestly.

"Honestly, no. You've likely seen everything I'm capable of."

"Can you handle weapons?"

"Barely at all," I answered. It wouldn't do to lie about my skills, considering he would quickly find out if I had. When he rolled over my bloated corpse.

He made a thoughtful noise and pulled out a small sack of coins. I took it gratefully and shoved it into my pocket without counting it; that would've been rude. He didn't say anything else, only nodded to me before disappearing into the alley. I wondered if I had failed the test.

It was another two days before Brynjolf cornered me again. This time it was during the day in the markets. I hadn't stolen since I had done it for him, since the cash had been getting me by for the moment. Haelga had stopped paying me again, but it didn't matter. He had finally returned to talk to me.

"You'll need some training, of course, but you have a natural talent, lass. You're in," he finished saying. I grinned at him, warmed by the compliment and comforted that they were aware I wasn't, like, Dragonborn skill level over here. "That is, if you can make it to the Flagon."

"I think I'll surprise you."

"Sure you will," he said. A second later, he dispersed into the crowd, leaving in his place a simple steel dagger. I quickly slipped it into my satchel and headed out of the markets.

I considered the cemetery entrance. I knew where the button and chain should be, but I wasn't sure if it needed a key. If I went through the Ratways, well... it could be easy, or it could not be. I might die. There could be some unsavory people down there ready to cut my throat, and I wasn't sure if I was prepared to cut throats. Kill someone? Could I do that? I didn't know yet. There was no doubt in my mind that I would defend myself, but I wondered how I would handle the situation. I headed slowly in the direction of the cemetery, investigating the area as I went. I hung around the edge of the area.

Brynjolf was ahead of me. I had lost track of him in the crowd, but I suppose knowing exactly where to look was a sort of bonus. I couldn't really just follow him in there, though. I'd be right behind him, and I'd arrive in the Cistern instead of the Flagon. No one would know who I was or how I knew to get in there.

Too risky in the long term. I melted back into the city streets, heading for the canal.

I arrived in the Ratways easily. I knew my way around Riften well enough by now, though I was still fuzzy on some things. Regardless, I found myself in the torchlit tunnels. The smell of sewage was really faint, not nearly as bad as I would have expected. I tried to remember the quest. I knew there was a bridge somewhere that may or may not be up. There could be two men in a room ahead. That was the biggest danger. They might not be hostile; it was a video game after all. My knowledge probably wouldn't help much in a realistic application.

Regardless, I heard no voices or footsteps as I progressed down the tunnel. I was wearing a sturdy pair of boots I had stolen and a simple dress for daily wear. It was the most comfortable set of clothes I had. The steel dagger was clutched comfortably in my hand. I was trying to have a proper grip on it, not too loose or tight. I was going to learn to use one properly, right? I was almost holding it like a tennis racket.

I followed the pathways until I reached a raised bridge. I swore out loud and examined the area. There wasn't anybody on the lower level, and the drop was maybe five feet. I settled for tucking the dagger into my belt and swinging my legs over the ledge. I hung off the ledge by my fingers before dropping in order to have the shortest, quietest drop. It wasn't very uncomfortable, though in my opinion a five foot fall wasn't much of anything at all. Being thrown from a horse would damage me more.

Out of nowhere, I heard a growl. I spun around to the sight of a giant ass rat leaping at my knees. I immediately lunged at the thing with my dagger. The blade dug into the top of it's head and the body went limp. I pulled out the knife and kicked the body away from me. Jesus, fucking rats. A damn skeever. No way was I keeping that meat to eat.

I continued to travel down the hallway. I hoped I was going in the right direction, and eventually I did emerge in a familiar looking room. There was an alchemy table and a sad looking man slumped over a table in the middle of the room. He hadn't noticed me yet, and I hoped to keep it that way. I scanned the room. The door off to the left, I believe, led to the Ragged Flagon. Now, only to get over there.

I took a step and, to my dismay, my foot clanged against a metal goblet and sent it skittering across the floor. Fuck. The man at the table appeared to jolt awake. He didn't seem quite human as he stumbled backwards out of his chair and raced at me. The only thing I could think of was drugs. Either way, the guy jumped at me, unarmed, and started biting and scratching. I stumbled backwards and he knocked me onto the ground. I managed to push him back as I fell. He might be taller than me, but he was clearly malnourished and skinny. Still, he pounced on me on the ground a second later and tried to bite down on my arm. His dull teeth didn't do much more than cause some pain through the fabric of my dress, but his nails were digging into my upper arm and chest. A few drops of blood leaked out of my skin and I groaned.

I reached frantically with my free arm towards the dagger. It had fallen just to my left as I myself had fallen. My left hand brushed up against it and my fingers clenched around the blade. I felt down until I was able to grasp the handle and frantically, I plunged the dagger into his back. He screamed, his mouth still muffled by the fabric of my dress, and he bit and scratched even harder for a second. I forced myself to pull the dagger out and small it back in, closer to his neck.

That did it. He started to cough and I saw blood stain my dress as his jaws released. I rolled him off me as his life faded out. I pulled the dagger out of his neck. Adrenaline pumped in my veins as I examined the blood dripping off the dagger. I had survived it, fucking hell, I had. I was breathing heavily from the rush, but I checked and wasn't too injured.

Bloody dagger in hand, I pushed the door to the Flagon open.

It felt like a victory.


	7. Chapter 7

There was definitely blood on me, but I doubted it would alarm these people. The Flagon was about as full as the game portrayed, but there were a few faces I couldn't recognize. I didn't remember many except the main few. I could see Brynjolf, seated at a table with a couple of others. I approached around the side, holding the dagger loosely at my side. I didn't want to appear threatening, but I didn't want to get any more blood all over myself.

I'm sure I didn't go undetected, but no one turned to look at me. They were just at ease. This was their domain, after all. Brynjolf saw me as I approached, and stopped saying anything to the rest of his group. I wondered if he was having to talk me up to them. I stopped in front of him, and I got the first word.

"I think this is yours," I told him. I held out the blood covered dagger. He snorted, but took it, and pulled out a rag to clean it.

"I see you made it," he said.

"Of course I did." He looked like he appreciated my confidence. I actually felt rather confident after my scrape with the man outside, despite the fact I wasn't trained or prepared for the thing I was about to undertake. The adrenaline was wearing off and I wanted to properly wash out those scratches before they got infected. Who the hell knows what was on that guy's hands. Brynjolf's eyes scanned my body, clearly noticing the fact I was a bit injured. I could feel them now, and I could tell they were only flesh wounds. No big deal.

"Better get you cleaned up. Come on," he started. He led me away from the table and towards the cistern. "The Guildmaster wants to meet you. Mercer Frey. After that, I'll show you around and tell you about how things work here."

The cistern was the same general shape and layout, but there were more rooms off of it than I remembered. Also, there weren't beds in it. I assumed they were elsewhere, which made more sense when I thought about it. Mercer did have a little office of sorts off to the side, with the classic desk, which he was bent over, reading something.

He's stealing from the Guild, I remembered just then. I tried to remember anything else about the quests. He killed the former Guildmaster, who's name I couldn't remember. There was the dark elf, Karliah. Nightingales. I couldn't remember specifics.

Better not to mess with that. I'm sure it won't come up.

Brynjolf led me over to the Guildmaster's corner of the cistern. We stopped in front of the desk area. It was an interesting little corner. Bookshelf, ledgers, some fancier artifacts.

"Mercer," Brynjolf said to get the man's attention. It drew my attention back to the meeting at hand. The Guildmaster looked at Brynjolf first without even sparing me a glance, but now I had looked at him. I almost choked on my own tongue. My face was hot. It was the guy, it was fucking Mercer Frey. I didn't know how to react. He hadn't looked at me yet. Would he recognize me? I recognized him. I swallowed hard. Would he say anything? I really hoped not. I don't know what I would do. "Here's the recruit I told you about."

I fought off a blush. I was still warm, but forced myself to remain still. He slid his gaze over to me, finally. I held my breath.

"I need to make one thing perfectly clear. If you play by the rules, you walk away rich," he started. This speech was sort of familiar. Probably the standard for new recruits. "You break the rules and you lose your share. No debates, no discussion… you do what we say, when we say, and we get along fine. Do I make myself clear?"

I was still in the process of choking on my own tongue, but somehow managed to force out a quiet "yeah." I hadn't looked into his face since he had turned his attention to me, and I was terrified to. I brought my eyes up despite this. His face was completely passive, unreadable. I couldn't even tell if he recognized me. I sure as hell recognized him. He pressed his lips together when I answered him.

"Brynjolf will get you settled in." He sat down in a chair a few feet away from his desk. "Delvin and Vex can give you jobs. I've been assured that you'll earn your keep, so you'd better not disappoint." His eyes examined me even harder, as though unimpressed with Brynjolf's decision to recruit me. He doubted I could steal shit, probably. I couldn't say he was unjustified. He stood up and walked back over to his desk. The man turned a page in the leger before glancing back up at me for a second.

"Welcome to the Guild."

That was the end of that. My face was burning as Brynjolf led me away from Mercer and around the cistern.

"He can be… like that. Sorry, lass," he said. He thought Mercer had upset me? It may have been funny if I wasn't completely embarrassed at the moment.

"No problem," I replied. The farther we got from him, I felt a little better.

Brynjolf started showing me around. Luckily, Mercer stayed back at his desk and I pointedly avoided looking in that direction at all. The cistern was a common room, basically, with chairs and such. Off to one side there was a large door leading into a kitchen. It made my day; if I bought some ingredients I could cook there. People did it frequently, he said. Sometimes they share. He showed me the training area, which wasn't huge. It had practice locks and dummies. There was no place for archery, something I was curious about learning. I had even wanted to learn it back home, but I was too afraid to join the class. Well, look at me now.

"Some of the senior members have more private areas, but most of the guild sleeps here if they're in Riften," he said. He was showing me the bunkroom where I was given a bed and a storage area. I was glad for this. I knew I'd have a roof over my head. It was a simple room, but looked comfortable enough. It was empty at the moment. "We leave Riften often. It isn't good for business to steal too much here. Enough to scare, and remind, but not enough to push them into raiding us."

"That makes sense," I acknowledged. There were other doors he hadn't shown me. One was clearly the vault, which needed no introduction. I assumed the others were sleeping quarters.

We exited back into the main area of the cistern. I noticed there were some targets set up on one side, presumably for archery. I decided to ask about it.

"Do you think somebody would teach me to shoot a bow?"

"Probably. A few people here know how to. I'm no expert myself, but you could probably ask Niruin about it."

"What about lockpicking?" I pushed.

"I can teach you that one sometime. It's an important skill for a thief, lass, so you'd better pick it up well," he warned, but I could tell he wasn't serious. He smiled at me. He was rather nice, for a thief.

"I'm a quick study," I muttered. It was generally true, but applied more to academic pursuits than practical ones. I was an honor student but fucked up constantly with a cash register. To be fair, I mostly just got nervous when being watched. Makes it hard to do anything competently. That was just me, though.

"You should probably wash up," he pointed out. He gestured at the dried blood on me. "Um, that's actually lake water, it's fairly clean." He gestured at the cistern's lake.

"I thought these were the sewers?"

"They are. Just not here and in the Flagon, even though the smell seeps in most of the time. The Guild had people divert the sewage and fix it for us a long time ago. We might be thieves, lass, but we're a bit better than that."

"Well," I started, "I'm definitely glad for that."

I was glad that it was the middle of the day and most people appeared to be out and about, because it let me have the run of the kitchen and clean myself up. I didn't have anything to change in to, though Brynjolf said I could go see Tonila for armour. I wanted money beforehand though. I needed some clothes and things like that. Basics I just didn't have. I had filled my satchel with the only other things I had, being basically a lump of maybe thirty gold, some stolen jewelry and stolen potions. Which I could now sell, I realized.

I grabbed a medium sized pot from the kitchen and went out into the cistern to grab some water. As I knelt at the edge of the lake to fill it, I looked up and across the cistern at Mercer Frey.

I was shocked. I mean, I had wondered who he was, and I suppose now my questions were answered. However, it was much harder to fantasize about it with the man across the room from me. He didn't seem to recognize me, or if he did, I was lucky he hadn't said anything.

As the water filled the bucket, I took a second to look up at the man. He wasn't conventionally attractive, and I had thought that a few nights ago as well, but holy shit. His eyes and demeanor and voice. His general presence, even across the room, was making me freeze up and blush.

Suddenly, he looked up from his desk and right at me. His eyes met mind and my skin crawled. Instead of freezing, I immediately sprung to action, pulling the full bucket out of the lake and breaking away from his gaze. I turned and hurried into the kitchen and around the corner, out of sight. The water in the pot splashed around and sprayed the front of my dress. I leaned against the wall, breathing heavily for a minute. The pot of water was clutched to my chest, still getting me wet.

Once I calmed down, I made myself cross the room and place the pot over the cooking fire. Luckily, fire starting was actually a skill that I had, for once.

I sat back on a stool and waited for water to boil after that. Mercer Frey.

What the hell are you thinking?


	8. Chapter 8

"To Riften," I told the driver of the caravan. I paid him and hopped up in the back of the cart. The stolen ruby necklace I had procured was nestled in an inner pocket on my simple clothes. Thieves Guild armor likely had its use, but as it was for this job, I only wore the boots. I didn't know how to fight and wasn't accustomed to armor anyways. I had safely assumed I wouldn't need to fight during a little fishing job, though I did carry a small dagger hidden on my person since joining the Guild. Brynjolf had given it to me before I left on this job.

I had stayed at the cistern for two days before heading out on the first job Delvin gave me. I was afraid to sit around on my ass, despite not knowing some vital things like lockpicking, but knew that pickpocketing, I could handle. I'd probably stick with fishing jobs for a while, just to be sage. I really didn't want the Guild to throw me out, so I knew I had to get good at this line of work.

Whenever I was in the cistern for those days, I walked on eggshells. It wasn't for fear that anyone would snap at me, but more out of fear that Mercer Frey would so much as look at me. The man was terrifying for a multitude of reasons, first and foremost that I had definitely met him before. In very different circumstances. I was constantly wondering if he remembered me or not. He never said anything to me; actually, we hadn't spoken since he welcomed me to the Guild. But, sometimes he'd look at me like he knew damn well. I'd never caught him looking at me, it was rather the opposite. It didn't help at all that I couldn't look even in his general vicinity without blushing or thinking about that night. Or about the things that come to mind late at night…

It was rather bad. Someone mentioned him out in the Flagon when I was having a drink and meeting the rest of the Guild. It nearly made me jump out of my seat. I don't know what I would do if I came face to face with him, but I knew it had to happen someday. He was Guildmaster for god's sake. There was no way I could avoid him, and really the issue was I didn't want to avoid him at all. Which was terrifying.

The man had literally killed people before, and would again without hesitation. Shouldn't that bother you? I wracked my brain that knowing who he was made it more exhilarating. A thief with astounding ambition. What the hell was wrong with me? He should really be frightening. It shouldn't make me shiver when he catches me looking at him. I definitely shouldn't be wanting him to catch me looking at him.

That evening, the cart arrived in Riften. The journey hadn't been too long, and I had napped for a ways. The cart that drove me was basically a taxi service, so he remained outside the gates when I went into town. He gave me a nod and I couldn't help but feel like he had an idea of what type of business it was I had in Whiterun. Regardless, he'd keep his mouth shut; this was Riften.

The sun was setting as I headed into the mausoleum passage in the cemetery. I eased my way down the ladder into the cistern. Once my feet hit the floor, I couldn't help it; the first thing I checked for was Mercer. He wasn't in his office space, so I had no idea. I hoped I wouldn't run into him. Or I hoped I would. I couldn't sort it out.

Thrynn and Niruin were sitting at the table eating something. I hadn't spoken to either of them much, but we waved at each other as I went by them. I made my way around to head into the Flagon, nerves prickling at my stomach. I hoped I had done the job well.

The Flagon was full this time of night. Vekel was serving drinks and a few Guild members were sitting around a table playing cards. Vipir was dealing. It looked like poker, but there were no chips. Instead, there were a lot of coins. I knew how to play, but I had only done it a handful of times. I wondered how much dishonesty went on in a game of cards among thieves. It almost seemed like a sleight of hand contest. Or maybe they agreed to play fair. Either way, I approached Delvin first, who was part of this card game.

"Hey," I greeted him. I pulled out the necklace and held it out for him. He placed his hand of cards face down on the table. He smiled and took the necklace from me. He examined it for a second before putting it in his pocket and replacing the space in my hands with a bag of coins. I grinned.

"It went well?" he asked, picking up his hand of cards again.

"Easy," I bragged. I glanced at his hand; he had three queens. He noticed I glanced at them.

"Feel like losing that bag of coins, lass?" Brynjolf interrupted. I weighed it in my hand for a second and looked around the tavern. After consideration, I pulled up a chair. Vekel had a mug of mead in front of me a moment later. It was pretty good, but I missed a good whisky.

"All right, then, but you may need to remind me of how to play."

"Don't worry about that, lass, you don't need to know how to play to lose all your coin," Brynjolf teased. They finished the round. Vipir won that one.

Delvin started to deal the next round, me included. Everyone was dealt five cards. I didn't have great cards, but I was fairly close to a flush. We went around the table tossing our bets into the centre of the table. No one folded right away. I had no idea how to cheat at a card game – well, this card game – so I hoped no one else was doing so, but I had my doubts. Next, I discarded two of my cards and sorted my hand. I had a 9, a 10, and a 3 of hearts. I hoped to be dealt at least some more hearts, but Delvin slid me a 10 of diamonds and a 5 of clubs. I could've let it go around another time, but I didn't have much hope for the hand.

"In," Brynjolf said, tossing his coin into the pile.

"Fold," I grumbled. I put my hand face down on the table and crossed my arms.

"Raise," Cynric challenged. They lasted one more round, where only Cynric and Brynjolf were left in the game. Someone called Vekel to refill our mugs. Mine had been emptied once already and I started sipping at the refill. Finally, the two thieves revealed their hands. Brynjolf won with a straight flush.

"Felicity, your deal," someone said, and a deck of cards was put in my hands. I shuffled a little bit to get into the feel of it; this was something I could do. I was an only child, and I once spend a camping trip with my parents basically learning to shuffle a deck of cards well. I could fold them into an arch and everything. Time to step up my game, then.

"Perfect," I said. I looked Brynjolf in the eye as I rolled up my sleeves and started shuffling the cards. I turned away from him as I arched the cards in one final shuffling trick and started quickly dealing out five cards each. I took one glance at my cards and tossed a couple of coins in as a starter bet. This time, I had a good hand. I won that round with a four of a kind. It seemed like a fair game. The deck passed to Brynjolf to be shuffled, and Vekel came around with more mead. It was a lot of fun, and I felt like I had a place in the Guild while we were sitting around that day.

A few rounds of cards and rounds of drinks later, I was inebriated. There was no denying it. Everyone at the table was a little drunk, I thought, but considering I was much smaller than all those men, I was significantly more so. After I finally won a second time, I found my coin purse only a big lighter than when Delvin had given it to me. It must've been nearly the middle of the night, considering how late I had returned from my job. Cynric had already gone to sleep, and the Flagon was mostly empty. With that round won, I finally got up from the table. I was tired, it had been a really full day. I stumble slightly getting out of my chair. It was always when you got up that you really felt how drunk you were.

"Lass, you all right?" Brynjolf asked me. I turned to him and placed a steadying hand on the table.

"Just drunk," I assured him. I almost started giggling. I was a giggly drunk. I did smile.

"Well done on the job today," Delvin said. "Goodnight."

"Thank you," I told him sincerely. I stopped next to his chair and leaned on it for a second. "I hope I don't fuck up."

"Come play with us again," Vipir invited. He seemed in his right mind. My head was swimming. I agreed, and headed out of the Flagon. I hoped I wouldn't fall into the lake.

I made my way through the cistern, which involved passing Mercer Frey's desk. I kept my eyes on the floor, focusing on one step after the other. I tried not to think about the things I wanted him to do. To do to me, specifically. A lot.

My vision wasn't super clear, but I felt good. I always enjoyed the feeling of being drunk, even now it was pleasant. I was lucky to be a happy drunk. I had been lost in a bit of a fantasy since I had briefly thought about passing Mercer's desk, and while I was slightly focused on placing one foot in front of the other, my eyes plastered to the floor.

Because of this, I hadn't seen the person in front of me coming, and I walked into their side and stumbled rather badly because of my inebriation. A gloved hand shot out to grab my arm in a vicelike grip which nearly hurt. The whole event startled me. I turned to look at the person who I had walked into and who had a grip on my arm to find myself face to face with the same person I had just been thinking about in ways that made me blush deeply in that moment. The lights were dim, I hoped he didn't notice.

"Sorry," I spluttered, and then broke my gaze from his face and onto the floor. The hand didn't let go of my arm. "Drunk." The hand still didn't let go. I turned my face up to look at his again. I felt heat in the pit of my stomach and I wondered how I was going to go to sleep now. He looked at me blankly.

"Did you do a job today?" he finally asked stiffly. I squinted a little and tried to think as my head spun. I wanted him to let go of my arm because the grip hurt, but at the same time I wanted him to keep me locked in place.

"Yeah," I muttered. I wondered if he cared if people got drunk here. I doubted it. I again turned my eyes away, looking past him at the wall. "Fishing job…"

He didn't say anything, just looked at me for another few seconds. I was unbelievably warm. I was wondering how I was going to stand any more of it when he finally turned and kept walking. I stood there in a stupor for a second before I started towards my bed again. It was, indeed, hard to rest that night.


	9. Chapter 9

I spent a great deal of the next day sleeping. I slept until midday and it felt more natural than getting up early in the morning; really, I was always a night person. I loved the smell of the night air and the feeling of silence and peace. There was no stress at night. Now, getting up with still a bit of a headache, I wished I could just stay in bed. Sadly, I felt a need to get up and start figuring out some new skills. Vex had agreed to show me some lockpicking skills; I believe Brynjolf said something to her that convinced her. I didn't want to think about that. Once I found her, she gave me a ring of lockpicks and showed me the basics, more or less. She wasn't a very kind teacher, nor was she very kind to me in general. She thought I was a waste of resources, maybe. She stayed with me for a little while, showing me how to pick the most basic lock in the training room until I successfully did it without any help. We spent a few hours there.

Vex gave no indication to if I was doing well or not, but I thought I was learning fairly easily. Generally, I pick things up fast. It was a technical skill, and I was a bit better with numbers and words, but it still wasn't overly complicated. It did take me a lot of tries. Once I managed to grasp the concept and pick the simple lock, Vex left me to practice on my own. She didn't say a whole lot to me during that time, besides specific instructions. I wondered if she would ever warm up to me.

"Damn it," I swore as the pick broke in the lock. I was seated on the floor in the training room in front of an apprentice locked chest. It was actually much more of a pain when a pick snapped in the lock than you might have expected. You have to pry it out afterwords or the lock is fucked. It was also rarer to actually break a pick, I found. It happened to me, of course, but I found that you really just had to be gentle with the locks. Obviously, picks didn't break automatically on my third try. I pinched the piece of metal lodged in the lock and pulled it out with a bit of effort. It was difficult to grab onto if it broke too closely.

I only left the training room around supper time. I left to find something to eat, and as I hadn't really tried to cook yet, I didn't feel like starting. I didn't have any food and would have to purchase some before I attempted the kitchen. Instead, I went above ground into the Bee and Barb to order a drink and a meal.

I sat down by myself at first, just intending to eat and leave before returning to my practice. I had to be capable of lockpicking. Fighting would be nice, if only because of the world I now found myself living in. Though, generally, it would be interesting. I've always wanted to be able to shoot a bow. Brynjolf happened to come in, so he sat down and joined me while he ordered himself a drink.

"How was training going?" he asked. I shrugged.

"I think all right, though I couldn't really tell if I was doing well. I think it's okay. I'll get it," I assured him.

"You don't have to convince me, lass."

I was already halfway through my meal when he sat down, and I generally ate quickly, but I stayed there for a few minutes after I finished up to sit with him.

"I need to be good at it," I said quietly. "I was going to go back to training after I ate." I really wanted to put all my energy into it. I found that in the past, I'd been a bit of a jack of all trades, master of none type. I never liked it. I had a lot of interests, so I never focused on any one thing, and just took them as they came to me. Nothing ever had my full dedication, but I really wanted to give it to these skills. "Brynjolf?"

"Yeah, lass?"

"You do know how to fight?"

"Of course."

"Could you show me?" I asked. I hoped he wasn't busy. I wanted to jump in with as many of the basics as I could, so that I could practice on my own without bothering anyone. I always preferred to learn by myself. I found it much more enjoyable and less stressful, but when I didn't know where to start, there was nothing to be done about it. There was no Youtube here.

"All right. You want to start now? I don't mind, lass, I was up here because I didn't have much to do."

"I'm glad to hear," I said.

Back in the training room, Brynjolf started out showing me some basics with a dagger. I knew I needed to practice more with a sword if I was ever going to be able to even lift one, considering I didn't have much muscle on me. Archery would be a task as well. I need to do exercise daily, I realized. I wasn't really in shape to the standards. I was healthy, with strong legs from horseback riding, but my arms were lacking.

He showed me how to hold it, and swing it, and a bit of blocking. It was basics. I doubted I would be able to sufficiently defend myself for at least a year of consistent practice, and I doubted I would have the courage to ask people to spar with me. That was the major reason I hoped archery would suit me better. It still wouldn't necessarily help me at close range, but maybe some hand-to-hand could help. I had practiced a bit of kickboxing before. I could throw a punch or a kick properly, and I knew how to dodge but I didn't have any of the reflexes for it.

Practice with Brynjolf was exhausting. We stayed up late doing it; I assumed he had also slept in a little bit after we stayed up so late playing cards. Eventually, though, he left me to head off to bed. I remained in the practice room. I knew it was late at night, and the only thing I wished was that I could practice above ground in the night air. I considered going up for a walk, but wondered if it would be safe or not. I really had no idea.

After Brynjolf left, I eased my sore body down onto the floor in front of the apprentice chest. My arms protested a bit, but I went about practicing my other skills.

The next day went similarly. I stayed up nearly all night, so I slept till midday and started practicing as soon as I woke up. I skipped supper entirely as I was engrossed with picking the locks. It was getting easier, but after many hours of practice, I realized I needed a break or I was going to wear myself out. I had been trying to cram my 500 hours to master the skill, but I felt my hands starting to shake while doing the precise work. I decided exercise would be a good way to go, but didn't want anyone walking in on me while I did so. It would be embarrassing – what if they didn't have push ups or crunches here? They'd look at me like I had two heads. Regardless, I knew it would help me. I left the lockpicks out at the chest so I could pretend to be doing that should anyone come in, however I knew that few of the thieves here needed to practice. Most got enough use out of their practiced skills going out on jobs, I'd say. I, on the other hand, didn't dare take a job that may involve lockpicking until I knew I could.

The cobblestone flooring dug into my hands while I worked away. I was sweating after about half an hour of exercise, and my arms were still sore from the day before. I finished the set and went over to sit on the chest I had been practicing on earlier. I was breathing heavily and it suddenly hit me that I hadn't had anything to eat all day. Hunger clawed at my stomach, and I knew if I waited a minute it would pass, but I figured I may as well have a snack if I was going to physically work out.

I wandered out into the middle of the cistern, heading for the kitchen to grab some fruit or bread. I wasn't wearing a whole lot, considering I wasn't going to exercise fully dressed, so as I exited the room, I did a quick scan of the room. I didn't expect to see many people as it was rather late at night, but I noticed that Mercer was at his desk in the corner of the room. I pointedly avoided looking in that direction, my thoughts taking quite a turn. I took a seat at the tables, unluckily they were in sight of Mercer's desk. I sat with my back to that section of the room as I picked at a roll and an apple. It would be enough food for the day, I supposed. Some days were like that; there was no reason to go out seeking any more food. Though, I couldn't do it every day in a row, as I had found out from recent experience.

I couldn't really help the directions my thoughts took while I was sitting there eating. I had no idea if Mercer Frey looked at me, but it felt as though the man's eyes were boring a hole in my back. I really just couldn't help imagining myself pushed up against a wall, wrists behind my back. Being thrown over top of that desk, naked, ledgers and books shoved to the side. I felt my cheeks heat up as I considered what it was I was thinking about. I imagined being shoved to my knees. I finished the food, and kept sitting there for a few moments with an apple core in front of me on the table.

I sat there in a bit of a stupor before I shook myself to alertness. I rubbed a hand over my face and wished for some cold water. I stood up and decided to go focus on swinging a one-handed sword around, so I'd be strong enough to spar with one in the future. As I turned around from my seat, I noticed that Mercer wasn't at his desk anymore. I hadn't heard him move, though that didn't indicate much about people's whereabouts in this nest of thieves. It gave me pause, but I kept moving towards the training room.

I didn't find a sword to use there. It was mostly barren, so I left the room and headed back towards the kitchen. I realized that I was actually getting quite tired, likely from the mixture of exercise and little food, so I thought I might just get a snack and turn in.

As I rounded the turn into the kitchen area, I noticed that someone was in there. The figure turned away from the counter, an apple in his hand. Mercer fucking Frey looked over at me for a second and I shivered. The second I saw the man, I blushed. I really just couldn't help it. Filthy thoughts filled my head right away. I hoped he couldn't tell, but sadly I think he could that time. It was pretty bright in the kitchen, even in the middle of the night. I wondered if he was going to say anything to me. It had rather halted me in my tracks, considering he was in between me and the fruit bowl.

"Hi," I muttered. I figured leaving it at silence would've been even more awkward, though I thought being alone with him and sober had me very on edge. I had a number of reason to be embarrassed around him at this point, the least of which was being drunk off my ass the other day. The most of which was probably the fact that I wanted him to rail me. He took the basket of fruit off the counter and held it out so I could take a piece. It seemed initially an odd action for such a man, but he was still a person. The other Guild members did know his as a person, some of them, like Brynjolf, probably thought he was a friend. I doubted he was considered a close one, though. I reached out and took an apple. It was the most common fruit around Riften. "Thank you." I took a step back with the apple. Was he going to start talking with me? I had no idea. I took a bite of the fruit. I might be getting a bit tired of them, but they were excellent quality apples.

"Were you in the training room all night?" he finally said. The silence had been slightly uncomfortable as he had replaced the basket on the counter and turned back to me. His gruff voice sounded strange when asking such a benign question.

"I need to learn to pick locks," I admitted. It took me a second to say it, as I wasn't sure if he knew that I didn't know. He didn't say anything for a moment, but did raise an eyebrow at me. He didn't seem angry, though his face was unreadable generally. He just looked unimpressed, which was reasonable considering I had done nothing to impress him. He pursed his lips slightly.

The Guildmaster took a few steps towards the exit, which happened to mean passing right by me. He stopped next to me on his way out and turned to look down his nose at me. I shrugged my shoulder a little instinctively and turned to look at him. My eyes fell somewhere around his chest, as I found myself unable to meet his eyes. My face was likely beet red at this point, and he could see that.

"Maybe you should've stayed in your previous line of work." And he was gone.


	10. Chapter 10

The next day, I spent a long time in bed, awake. The fucker remembers, clearly. Probably thinks I'm a useless thief as well. That was why I took three consecutive jobs over the next two days. Two were fishing jobs, but the third was a bedlam job in Whiterun. I picked two locks successfully, but ended up climbing through a window instead at one point. It was a bit messy, but I didn't get caught that day.

I returned in the late afternoon, and after visiting the Flagon briefly, my pockets were full of coin. I even stashed some in my chest. Combined with the money I earned selling stolen goods to Tonilia the fence, I had a comfortable savings.

I was still avoiding Mercer. I barely dipped into the Flagon before going back up to town, but as I wandered around the last hours of the market, I knew I'd have to spend some more time in the Cistern. I needed to keep training. I had bought myself a bow with intentions to learn to use it. My wardrobe got s bit of an upgrade as well. I now owned a couple of dresses and pant outfits, as well as bracers to use with the bow. I wanted to start using my Guild armor.

After picking up some bread and cheese, I returned to the cistern with my snack. As I stepped off the ladder, I glanced over to check if Mercer was at his desk. I nearly jumped because when I looked over, our eyes met. He must've been noticing the movement as I entered. I quickly lowered my eyes and proceeded over to the table to set down my bag. I took a small strongbox out of the training room to practice on while I was able to sit down and snack. It was a harder difficulty of lock, but I intended to take my time with it.

I sat there, snacking on bread and cheese intermittently as I worked at the lock. It was slow going, and I had to restart a few times. It was still early, so a few people were still going about their business in the Cistern. I think somebody was in the kitchen proper. Mercer was like… Well, it was like the feeling of being watched. I was sure he had other business to attend to and wasn't actually watching me, but I was still too afraid to look since I was angled away from him.

As the night grew later, I successfully picked the lock and relocked it to continue practice. I noticed people trickling into the Flagon or to their beds. Those that were in Riften at the moment, anyway.

"Felicity!" I turned around to see Vipir holding a deck of card. "Do you want to come play?"

I paused for a second, considering. "Oh. No thanks, I'm tired after Whiterun. Another time?"

"Of course. You're always welcome."

He made his way out to the tavern. I liked Vipir, he was a genuine person, and I was always fond of cards. I just didn't feel up to that much socializing at the moment. I was immersed in my practice, nothing left of my bread but crumbs.

About half an hour later, still working on picking that same lock in the nearly empty cistern, I was growing a bit frustrated with it. I had glanced behind myself to check if Mercer was there not long ago, and he was, but that was forgotten now. The pick snapped in the lock.

"Fuck!" I swore, and tossed the half of the lockpick still in my hand off to my side. It landed in the water with a light splash. I tilted the lockbox up, grumbling under my breath, and started trying to get the other part of the pick out. I grumbled under my breath until I was cut off by somebody behind me.

"You know, Delvin told me you were doing well, but I can't say I'm impressed."

I jumped in surprise. My blood ran cold. No, it heated up. I couldn't tell. I hadn't heard him approach. It was those damn Guild boots. Though, I had them as well, and I still wasn't nearly as quiet as he was. Before turning around, I gently put the lockbox and my picks down on the table. I took my time in tossing my leg over the bench and turning to look at him. The jab made me feel defiant, but it stung more than I thought it should have. Why did I want to impress him so much? I fixed my eyes on his. He was standing only a few feet behind me.

"I quite hope you don't do that on the job," he continued snidely. His face was impassive. I glared.

"Do you think I'm fucking stupid?" I moved to stand. He didn't say anything, nor move. "I'm not. I might be completely useless with a damn weapon, but I can assure you, I'm not dumb."

He was silent while I basically stared him down. I didn't know what was getting into me, but I was pissed. Probably the lockpicking failure. I clenched my jaw. Eventually, he snorted.

"Break picks like that out there and a guard's going to find you quick."

"Why do you think I'm doing it in here?" I snapped. I was standing and trying to make myself feel a bit taller, but he still had quite a few inches on me, and somehow, he had approached even closer to where I was standing with my back to the table. I tried to reflexively step back a little, my hands finding the edge of the table as I remembered who I was speaking to, and why I had been previously avoiding him. Finding him so close, I started blushing as I gained my head. My mouth opened to say something, but I wasn't sure what it was and nothing came out. I looked down at my feet.

Mercer's hand suddenly clutched my chin and made me look back up at him. The grip was hard, and my mouth opened slightly. I felt my skin pinch together. My face must have been beet red at this point, because he seemed to notice. His mouth didn't move, but he raised his eyebrows.

"Why so embarrassed?" he mocked. I looked away, just with my eyes, but they only got so far as looking down at his chest. I was backed up as far as I could be against the table. His grip suddenly loosened, and he took a few steps past me. I slumped over where I stood, somewhat relieved and somewhat disappointed, until he called to me again. "Well, come on, then." I sucked in a sudden breath, nerves clutching at my stomach.

He brought me to the training room and handed me a sword. I was completely surprised, but at this point I was beyond really thinking about what was going on. It felt like these events were just happening. I raised the sword, though I was barely able to keep my wrist strong with it held out straight.

All I knew was what Brynjolf had shown me that other day, and that had been more with the dagger. The sword? I was fucked. He took out his own and nodded at me.

"Well, you said you were useless with a weapon. Let's see." I swallowed hard and clenched the sword in my fist. I tried not to grip it harder than I should, but it was hard to avoid when Mercer finally swung at me. It wasn't light, but these were metal-filled iron sword. Bruises, not major injuries. Unless somebody took it to the head, maybe. I rushed to try and block with the sword, but I wasn't strong enough nor fast enough. My sword crashed into his, and since he hadn't really held much back in the swing, it just caused my own sword to be knocked backwards into my left shoulder, his propelling it forwards. The only thing I really had the reflex for was to cushion the blow and move with it. It hurt, and I could feel just where I had been hit, but I straightened myself up.

I stretched my wrist, rolling the sword in circles. My wrist didn't feel very strong and I was concerned about not being able to do this very long. I would almost fare better with just my fists.

He swung at me again, from the other side, and I jumped back instead of trying to block it, my legs at the ready, knees bent. He could've killed me countless times over, of course. I was lucky he didn't want to at the moment. He swung at me a few times after that, not really holding back. I was just glad he had a practice sword as well.

Mercer clipped me with the sword multiple time. I didn't even dare try to swing back for a little bit, until he basically just hit me in the stomach with the sword. I was only trying to defend myself, and he wasn't letting up. I didn't have a moment to breathe. Finally, in frustration, I swung at him from the right while he swung at my other side. In a real fight, I would've been cut open, but regardless, he changed the direction of the swing to block my incoming strike.

He looked at least a little bit satisfied, and he let up a bit. The next time I tried to swing at him, he let me get in close before hooking one of my feet out from under me. I crumpled onto the ground and dropped my sword. I rolled over to look up at him, to find the sword pointed at my neck.

"Dead," he said.

"Cheat," I muttered. He pulled the sword away from me and crossed his arms, waiting for me to get up.

"That's how you win."

He didn't help me up, for which I was grateful. I kept my dignity. Fine, win like that? Sure.

I tried to fight back with the sword for a few more minutes, but eventually, I dropped the heavy thing out of frustration. I wasn't any good with it. I dodged the next swing and threw a punch at Mercer's stomach. In response, he dropped the sword and sidestepped. He was clearly far superior to me at fighting, as he caught my arm while it swung past him, and he pulled me around. One of his hands flew up to my jaw while the other kept a grip on my arm. I whimpered quietly.

"Better," he acknowledged, "but I wouldn't recommend giving up your weapon in a fight."

I remained in his grip, my mind blank. His fingers were digging into my neck and cheeks, not to mention the grip on my arm. He appeared to be considering something for a moment. There was a dark look in his eye as he started walking me backwards further until I felt my back hit the stone wall of the room.

Fuck.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** some nsfw

It wasn't fear that clutched at my stomach. It was more like nerves and an overbearing warmth. My stomach was rolling, and I wasn't sure what to do in this situation. I couldn't remember what he had said to me mere moments ago. My mind blanked and fumbled over words. I tried to remember what we were talking about.

"Wasn't a real fight, though."

"Lucky for you."

I would've shrugged, but I was pinned to a wall. "You're not wrong."

"You might be in out of your depths, here." I think he was referring to the Guild. I couldn't help but think that about my physical position, though.

"I don't need to fight if no one catches me," I pointed out. I've been playing it safe, that's how I was getting by. My smarts.

He appeared to actually consider that for a second, but didn't say anything. Nor did he move. I think if he did, I'd have been disappointed. I was getting more flustered the longer he didn't say anything to me. I wondered what he really thought of me. He seemed to think I wasn't any good at this, but at the same time he always noticed me more than I thought he would have otherwise. I doubted it was normal for him to spar.

"I doubt you wish I'd stayed at Haelga's because I'm a shitty fighter," I blurted out. I probably shouldn't have said that. Well, it's in the open. He was probably going to leave, now. I'm sure he got the implication.

On the contrary, he actually barked a laugh. It was a short, loud noise, and I looked at him with almost indignation. My face must've been beet red at this point. He leaned back, releasing me, but still standing very close. I pressed myself harder against the wall, suddenly cold, but nervous and attempting to put some distance between us. Not because I particularly wanted that, but rather because I was afraid that I didn't. I was supposed to. Wish a bit of a lopsided grin, he leaned in again, placing his hand somewhere above my right shoulder.

"Oh? Would I have to pay, then?" One of his hands found its way to my hip. I gulped as he lightly dragged it higher, reaching under my shirt to brush his fingers across the bare skin on my stomach and sides. I breathed in sharply. My eyes avoided looking at him, choosing instead to look at the wall on the other side of the room. "Mm, no, I think you're fine just here." At least he admits that much. I didn't say anything, my breathing a bit rough. "So?" he prompted. My eyebrows creased in confusion and my eyes moved to look at him. Once I met his eyes, I couldn't look away. The look was intense.

"So," he emphasized the word by changing his light, teasing movements to a crushing grip on my waist. A little noise escaped the back of my throat. "Would I?" he finished, leaning in so his face was only an inch from mine. His grip loosened and he seemed to be waiting. For an answer. I swallowed in preparation to say something. He was pressing me to say out loud something he clearly knew. I closed my eyes.

"No." I muttered the admission. My face was on fire. I was embarrassed to admit it, and I wasn't sure how I felt about him knowing what effect he had on me. It depended on whether he wanted it or not.

"I didn't think so." He leaned even closer to me to say it next to my ear. He stayed there for a few seconds, his fingers digging into my skin. Then, suddenly I felt him step away from me. His grip on my bare hip released. I had my eyes pressed closed out of embarrassment, but I opened them a second or two after he had pulled away. The room was empty, but I saw a shadow flicker near the door. He had just walked out.

I stayed in the room for a few moments more, breathing heavily. I didn't want to reflect on the experience immediately, so the first thing I did was head to bed. As I exited the training room to go to the bunkroom, I refused to look anywhere but directly ahead of me. I didn't know if Mercer was in the room and I didn't want to.

"I have one here in Riften if you'd like," Delvin was saying. I preferred going to him for jobs if only because he was much nicer than Vex, who wasn't very fond of me. She probably just didn't think much of my skills.

It was the morning after my encounter with Mercer, and I had gone to Delvin unsure on if I wanted to get away for a long time or not. So, I didn't specify when I asked. Since this is what he offered, I decided I may as well stick with it.

"All right, what do you need?" He handed me a sheet of paper he had been working on with a few numbers and categories. The thief explained that they were going to sneak in and rob a shipment for Bersi's store, and he wanted me to change his books so that he wouldn't realize. They were small changes, he explained, because we didn't want to destroy business in Riften. The job needed to be done by the next morning. I agreed and then, since I had already woken up late, it didn't take very long to wait until it was past dark to head out. I passed the time working away at lockpicking. I was legitimately getting better, and I wanted to keep that going.

I headed directly out through the Cistern. I avoided looking near Mercer, but he was there. I didn't want to avoid it badly enough to trek through the Ratways, though.

I arrived outside to the fresh air. It was a bit grimy there in the city, as you might expect from a city of this era, but it still smelled like the lake and the night. It was good enough for me as I went about heading to Bersi's shop, which luckily by this time I knew just where it was. It was late enough at night that I could expect him to be sleeping. If he wasn't I may run into a problem.

When I got there, I tried the door to find it locked. I was both glad for it and upset, as now I would have to practice my lockpicking skills. I did a round to check where the guards were circling so that none would run into me breaking in, and once I had timed it, I went about picking the lock. Luckily, it wasn't a very challenging lock, and I managed to get into it before I counted down to the next guard passing by. I slipped inside quickly and shut the door behind me as quietly as possible. I was very thankful for the enchanted boots (jesus, magic was still something I was barely used to. Fucking magic!), but the rest of my body still made noise. I had to be deliberate with my movements, make sure nothing brushed up against anything else that may make noise, and I had to be sure not to touch my surroundings either.

I restrained myself from taking the spare change and other valuables that I ran across as I headed for Bersi's back room. I made a bit of noise, but it was light and I moved very slowly. I hoped it was enough, and I didn't hear the couple's sleep get disturbed, so I kept moving.

The room with Bersi's books and safes was down a set of stairs. As I descended, I tried to make sure to move as quietly as possible. The farther down I got, I heard faint snoring and I realized that only a wall divided me, in the room with ledgers, from where Bersi and his wife slept.

As I approached the desk, I pulled out the notes Delvin had given me on what to change. I started by examining the exact position everything on the table was in, as if the man was to not realize anything had been changed, he must have no reason to suspect any one had been in his house. I carefully marked the page the book was open to and went about finding the information I needed.

Once I had finished the tedious work, which took quite a while as I had to basically redo the sheet entirely, I replaced the desk exactly as it had been. While I was in the midst of doing this, I heard the snoring stop and the bed creaked. My stomach clenched and I didn't move for a second. I couldn't run as he would hear it, but since I was finished I started moving as quickly as I could towards the stairs.

To my relief, the door didn't open as I moved backwards up the stairs. I only allowed myself to release the breath I was holding when I reached the front door. I leaned up against it for a little bit, listening for footsteps. Once I heard the guard's heavy metal boots fade away, I quickly exited the shop. I wished I could lock it behind me, but I didn't want to mess with the lock any more.

I made my way through town, acting as casual as possible. I stuck to the edge of the paths as I headed for the cemetery, just hoping to avoid any guards. I did successfully do that.

I returned to the Cistern through the mausoleum entrance. The ladder was a bit rickety, as usual, but I didn't really mind. Heights never bothered me. I headed straight through the middle, avoiding Mercer's office space, and entered the Flagon to report back to Delvin. He wasn't there, only Vekel, who was cleaning up. I entered and turned to him questioningly.

"They've gone out already," he informed me.

"Thanks," I said happily, then I joked, "Do you ever sleep?"

He chuckled. "Barely."

"See you later." I waved and left him to his business, entering the Cistern again. It was very late at night now that I was done the job. I felt proud that Delvin had trusted me with it, and hadn't waited up to find out if I fucked it up or not.

In order to get to my bed, I had to cross past Mercer. It would've looked even stranger if I had gone all the way around for no reason, so I made sure to act normally as I walked by. He seemed frustrated, but I could only see peripherally because I refused to look at him.

As I passed by, I was nearly in the clear when I heard him say something to me.

"Girl."

Slowly, I turned around to look at him. Before saying anything, I glanced around the room. It was empty except for Thrynn, though I wasn't sure why he was awake. He didn't seem to notice anything was going on. "Yeah?" I said hesitantly. He seemed to consider something for a moment. He was leaning on his desk, but once I focused on him, he stood up straight and closed some of his books.

He turned and walked to the door at the back of his desk space. I continued to look at him, not sure what he wanted from me. He opened the door and turned around to meet my eyes as he stood in the doorway. He quirked an eyebrow at me and disappeared into the dark tunnel. He left the door open.

It was… an invitation? I hesitated. Thrynn could see. I glanced back, but he wasn't looking in my direction. I bit my lip. Why the fuck not, then? I headed over to the door and closed it behind me. I held up my chin. What the hell was I walking into?

With the door closed, the pathway was dark. I held my arm out in front of me slightly, feeling disoriented now. I focused on one step at a time, hoping not to make a fool out of myself. It wasn't a long tunnel, luckily, and I found a ladder shortly. My eyes had adjusted to the darkness by that point. There was a trapdoor above which was ajar enough to let in a little bit of light. I climbed up hesitantly and pushed it open.

I was in a house. It was only illuminated by moonlight, which was rather bright that night. Enough that I could see. It was a nice house, really. I was at ground level. I turned around to check my surroundings to find Mercer Frey sitting in an armchair, holding a glass of something which he was drinking. I wondered how he had done that so quickly. He peered at me past his goblet without speaking. It made my skin crawl, but not in a bad way. It was something about the fact that he was seated and completely composed while I was standing in the middle of the room in confusion.

After a few seconds, he placed his glass on the table next to him and slowly rose from his chair. He wasn't wearing his armor, but I had mine on, which felt a little backwards. He walked past me to the trapdoor, which he kicked back into place and latched it. I bit down on my lip. Then, he finally turned his attention to me.

He stepped just in front of me. He looked like he was still considering something, but a moment later it appeared he had decided. The clasps on my armor, which for me took quite a bit of time to sort out, he had undone in seconds. The pieces tumbled to the ground and he pulled my hood off and tossed it aside as well. He ran his hand through my hair for a second, which almost made me cringe because I knew it was somewhat greasy. He didn't seem to notice, of course, and a second later he was pulling at my shirt. He didn't take it off, but instead pulled me closer to him. Let out a sharp breath. He pushed me out from him after a second and gave me a nudge towards a door on the side of the room.

"Come," he said, walking past me. I followed into the room, which just had a simple bed in it. It didn't really look touched and was rather empty. Spare room, maybe? I stepped towards the bed. He walked around behind me and I felt his presence probably an inch away from me.

Next thing I knew, my shirt was torn open in the back.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N** : some nsfw

I jumped, grabbing the bedpost in front of me as my shirt was pulled off. Next thing I knew, there were hands all over me and I was being pushed into the bed. As soon as my feet were off the ground, he was pulled my boots off. I was completely undressed in a few seconds. It was quicker than I could've removed the armor. Once I was naked, he grabbed me by the hair and pulled me fully onto the bed. I was laying on my back while he crawled up next to me, looming over-top of me with a vice-like grip on my hair. I whimpered quietly, and I think I caught a little smile on his face for a second.

He leaned in towards my neck, leaving tiny bite marks along my upper shoulder. I shuddered as his free hand trailed across my body, reaching lower until it halted on my inner thigh, dragging up and down lightly. I made a frustrated sound and spread my legs open. He tightened his grip on my hair and pulled my head back when he finally drew his hand in to touch me. He ran a finger along my slit before circling my clit once and returning to slowly push the finger inside of me. After only a few seconds, another one joined it.

"Now you're just making this easy," he taunted next to my ear, biting down on the lobe lightly. I writhed around, and I felt a flush of heat when he spoke to me. Still, I huffed, and squeezed my legs shut in retaliation. He pulled his hand back and slapped the side of my ass, causing me to jump in surprise and squeak.

He rolled me onto my stomach, but kept the grip on my hair. He leaned down into my ear again and growled, "open." I slowly spread my knees out, and he brought his hand back to the apex of my thighs, moving slow enough to make me push my hips back against his hand in frustration. He responded by giving me another slap. I felt the stinging handprint and then he squeezed the same spot and I whimpered loudly. I again pushed my hips back with a whine, which awarded me another few whacks. With each one, I felt heat grow in my stomach as I slowly lost track of where I was and only focused on the feelings.

The grip on my hair released and I felt him moving around behind me. I kept my eyes closed. In frustration, I spread my legs out and I felt him settle between them. I heard some buckles rustling about and then he was leaning across my back.

"Incorrigible," he muttered next to my head before sharply pulling my hips up so that I rested on my knees with my head on the pillow.

Without any warning, he shoved himself into me and gripped my hips tightly. I exclaimed in surprise, and he gave me no time to adjust as he set an unrelenting pace. Luckily, I was more than ready and in seconds, I had adjusted and was moaning loudly, uninhibited. It was a private house, right? I didn't give it any thought.

He was pushing forwards hard until I unlocked my knees and flopped down on my stomach. He barely gave it any pause, only wrenched open my knees to continue. The Guildmaster left one solid slap on my ass and I moaned loud, my muscles clenching and a rush of heat flooding to where we were joined. He leaned across my back and buried a hand in my hair again, pulling my head around until he could see my face.

"Hm?" he urged, punctuated with a particularly hard thrust. I cried out. "What's that?" His free hand reached around me and started to tease me, and I was nearly there, moaning and writing underneath him, not even an inch from an orgasm when he pulled away from me, ending all contact. I cried out at the loss and in frustration as my pleasure faded. In surprise, I rolled halfway around to face him. Immediately, his hand grabbed the hair on top of my head and pulled me over to where he was sitting. He turned my head up to look at him and I whimpered.

"Did I say you could do that?" he growled. I tried to drop my eyes, but he gave my hair a tug. I shook my head slightly with a whine. He looked satisfied and released my hair, only to pull me to him by the arm and direct me into sitting on top of him. He held me there in place without giving me any satisfaction, and I moaned and grinded down on him. He didn't relent. "Something you want?"

"Please," I muttered after a second. It was quiet and I think had I been much farther away he may not have heard me. Either way, he made a show of it, clamping a hand down around my neck and digging fingers into my cheek. I moaned, rubbing myself against him a bit harder. His other hand grabbed my hip to still me. Louder, I sobbed, "please."

Apparently, he was satisfied, as while he kept his grip on my neck, he realised my hip and guided his cock inside me again. However, he didn't move and simply tightened his grip on my neck until I got the hint and started to bounce up and down a bit. After a bit, he started meeting the thrusts and pulled me closer by my neck. He tightened his grip and pulled my weight onto my knees so that he could drive into me harder. I cried out in sudden satisfaction, and felt pressure building in my gut.

"Go on," he urged this time. His free hand grabbed my ass, nails digging in as I toppled over the edge.

"Mercer," I cried in the moment, though it was slightly strangled by his grip. After that blinding hot flash, I wasn't very aware, but I knew a few seconds later he pushed me off him gently, and I felt like I was melting into the fur blankets.

When I woke up, it was light out and the room was empty. I didn't really know how to react at first, considering my spur of the moment decision the previous night. I was completely naked still, and it appeared that I had rolled myself up in a blanket in my sleep. I was tangled in it but after a few moments of laying there, stunned, I kicked my way out of the bed. I felt like a mess as I stumbled around the room looking for discarded bits of clothing. What the hell had happened to me? I pulled on my pants and boots, then lifted the torn up piece of shirt for inspection. It was only ripped in the back, and I didn't have much of a choice other then to somehow put it on. I settled for tucking it into my pants so it stayed more of less on. I'd throw it out back in the cistern. Oh, fuck, hell if I was going back in there through Mercer's door. I didn't want those sorts of questions or looks.

Mostly presentable, I held my breath before leaving the room into the main area. To both my relief and disappointment, it was empty. I was afraid to run into Mercer because I anticipated an awkward situation, but I also wanted to because I was curious. Curiosity may kill me someday. I noticed the glass on the table and moved over to it, noticing how dry my mouth was. I smelled it; it was wine. I tasted it and, since I was alone, I made a face at the sour flavour. Since I was thirsty, I drank it.

I turned around and examined the room, scanning it for pieces of my armor, which I picked up and prepared to put on. It was, in the light, quite a nice house. There was a door on either side of the room leading out to the city, and the trapdoor on the floor which was unlatched now. Off to one side of the room was an archway to a kitchen area, which looked a bit messy. Stone stairs led to an upstairs landing, and a door on the other side presumably led to a basement. That triggered a bit of a memory from the game, and I recalled that Mercer Frey was quite literally the antagonist of the questline, who tries to kill you. I couldn't make myself care about it, especially since nothing, like the Dragonborn showing up, seemed to be happening. And the man was good in bed.

I stood there in the main room, buckling up my armor when the trapdoor on the floor swung open with a thud. The Guildmaster, facing away from me, climbed into the room. I halted my movements with a look of surprise and fear on my face, as he turned around to notice me, he looked uncomfortable and a bit surprised.

"Afternoon," he said. I nodded, and continued to do up the buckles on my armor. He stood there for a second before kicking the panel shut and moving past me towards the kitchen. I pulled on my bracers, and hesitated on what to do after that. Should I just leave? I didn't want to take the trapdoor. What I really wanted was something to eat. I found I was having countless cravings for food and drink I missed. I'd kill for coffee, which was probably expensive as hell in Skyrim. I could hear Mercer doing something in the kitchen, dishes clanging a bit. The noises stilled after a moment and I couldn't bear just standing around anymore, I moved to the entrance of it. There was a pot over a wood stove, a simple one with a fire inside, and Mercer was seated hunched over a stack of papers. I eyed a plate of muffins on the table. Mercer must have sensed that I approached, and without turning around or acknowledging me, he picked up a muffin and held it out behind him. I took a few steps forwards to take the muffin, and then retreated again with a muttered thanks. I was hungry, but I ate the muffin slow as I was just waking up and felt a bit weary still.

It felt like maybe I should go, so after eating the muffin I backed out of the room. He didn't say anything to me as I exited through the back door of the house.

I spent a couple nights in Markarth after that, doing a few jobs at once. I was getting much better at the job and lockpicking, though my fighting skills were still lacking. While I was gone, I tried to absorb myself in just relieving the city of it's valuables and not think about Mercer Frey. It was difficult, considering I'd have loved to go back to Riften and jump into his bed again. I wondered if he'd go for that, and thought maybe he would. I pondered on if I was going to try it upon my return, which was now imminent as I nudged the button in the mausoleum and descended into the Cistern.

Later that night, I did try it. I spent a while in the Flagon with the other before wandering into the nearly empty Cistern, except for Mercer. He looked up as the door slammed shut behind me of it's own accord. I met his eyes for a second; it was the first time I'd seen him since I left that morning. I started walking in his general direction, though that was also the direction to get to my bunk. I slowed down as I approached, nerves clutching at my stomach, but I also felt fairly sure that sex was sex and he wouldn't be opposed to more of it. I stood there for a second as he scratched in numbers with the quill pen.

"Mercer?" I muttered after a second. He paused in his writing, then finished another number before marking the page and closing the book. The man looked up and studied my face. I swallowed my nerves and bit my lip. Blush crept over my face as he looked at me with that intense look, which pinned me where I stood. He reached across the desk and held my chin in his hand gently, then pulled me forwards by the collar of my shirt. Once I was leaning across the desk, he brought his face up to mine.

"I think that's Guildmaster to you," he said. My mouth opened a little bit and a tiny whine sounded in the back of my throat. He smiled, a predatory thing, and walked around the desk to stand in front of me. He loomed above me despite the height difference only being a few inches. His presence made it hard to breathe in the best way. "Come on," he said.

The next morning, I woke up in the same spare bedroom again, alone. This time I exited the room and started putting myself together, thinking the house was empty, but Mercer must have heard me, and he appeared from upstairs. I wondered if he had slept up there or if he had been in the bed with me. I wasn't awake enough to know last night.

"There's a washroom upstairs," he informed me. It was kind, I felt disgusting after the previous night's activities. I was surprised that he said much of anything to me at all. Still, I thanked him as I passed him on my way up the stairs. The upstairs included a bedroom, definitely bigger than the one downstairs which I was familiar with, a sitting room with some bookshelves, and the washroom. The washroom was rather large, and included an enchanted bathtub, which made me boil in jealousy. I had always loved a hot bath, to the point of exiting the water with red skin, and had been bathing in cold water since joining the Guild. I used the wash basin and did more of a spongebath instead, since I didn't want to intrude, but I had my sights set on that bathtub.

When I returned downstairs, he was gone.

The next few nights went very similarly. About a week passed where I did not sleep in the Cistern once, instead frequenting that spare bedroom. I noticed that Mercer didn't stick around long after. I tried staying awake to see what he did, and often he lied there for a little while before getting up and leaving the room. At least it wasn't immediate, I supposed, though it was still gave a bit of a sting, which I berated myself for. I couldn't get attached, though it was getting a bit hard to be entirely, 100% distanced from the arrangement. One morning I was offered breakfast, which I appreciated. I stopped feeling so much discomfort in his house, though I still felt concerned about overstaying my welcome. I was completely aware of the lack of a real relationship, which was a given, I wasn't trying to get wrapped up into something crazy like that. It was just sex, and that was all I wanted from it as well. Though breakfast was nice. I seldom had conversations with Mercer, but the silence was more often than not a comfortable one, which was something I had always liked. Comfortable silence. I had never imagined I would fall into this sort of arrangement and become at all comfortable with it, but I had.

I continued my training with Brynjolf. My fighting skills were maybe passable. But probably not quite. I'd always need my charisma and the element of surprise, but I could rely on those fairly well. Niruin was teaching me to use the bow, which I found much easier than the blade. It wasn't easy, and my arms got tired, but they were getting stronger the more I practiced, which was frequently. I felt like I could likely shoot a still target, though maybe not in the head. A moving target was a bit more worrisome. I wanted to go outside the city walls and practice one day. That was something I enjoyed; the archery. It made me feel like I was finally picking up a skill at the rate which I was used to.

One morning I woke up by myself, which was a bit unusual as Mercer didn't often leave the house until I was up. I thought he probably just didn't trust me. Whatever, it was sex. I left the house through the back door as usual. Sometimes I wondered if Mercer noticed that I hid this from the rest of the Guild, and I wondered if it offended him. He had never said anything, of course, he was detached, if surprisingly had a few moments of kindness. And other types of... moments.

When I reached the Flagon, everyone seemed a bit off. The tone of the room was sombre rather that it's usual rowdiness.

"Delvin, is something going on?" I asked, sitting down across from him at the table. He frowned and began to tell me the story about Vex failing at getting into Goldenglow Estate. I swallowed, knowing this would be the start of something hectic that I wasn't prepared for at all.

"So this new guy Brynjolf brought in, he just left to try to get in. I'll admit, he looked fairly capable, but if Vex couldn't do it... I don't know if we'll be seeing that one again," Delvin finished. I shrugged, not wanted to let on that any of this mattered more than it actually should. The Dragonborn. He'd succeed, of course.

After chatting with Delvin for a bit, I headed into the Cistern to sort out my things. I didn't return to my bed much lately, it had been nights since it had been slept in. I wondered if any of the others noticed. I hoped not. I changed my clothes, throwing on a simple dress, bracers for archery, and my boots, and took out a bit of gold and my bow before returning to the main area of the Cistern. I noticed Mercer was back at his desk. He was likely getting worked up about Goldenglow or something. He leafed through a bunch of pages. Sometimes I wanted to ask about all the papers he was sorting, reading, or writing on, but I knew that he would likely be a bit defensive about it, considering he was siphoning extra money from the Guild. That was why I didn't ask.

I ignored that corner of the room. Having sex with the man frequently made it a bit easier to abide his presence in the room, but if he pinned me with his eyes it still made me shiver. He had a way to him that made me feel completely bare. I stopped in front of the targets with my bow in hand and began to practice.


	13. Chapter 13

When I felt stressed or frustrated, sex was very often the last thought on my mind; however, in my experience, other people often felt the opposite. Stress relief, relaxation, the taking out of frustrations and all. That was why, I believe, Mercer pulled me aside in the _middle of the day_ , which caught me off guard considering it was rather unusual to meet him until rather late at night. I was looking at him in confusion as he pulled me into his office alcove while I was on my way by, carrying my bow and on my way to practice. It was around supper time, I could feel the hunger clutching at my stomach, and most of the guild members in Riften at the moment were in the Cistern. Enough to see it when Mercer grabbed my by the arm and dragged me into the bookshelf. My mouth dropped open in surprise as he pushed against me. His grip was tight, and he kissed me (something which also only happened once or twice) roughly, biting on my lip. My bow clattered to the ground, which I imagined drew some attention, causing me to tense up. The Guildmaster's research on Karliah's symbol was abandoned on his desk. He pulled back, his grip finding my hip, and he loomed over me, backing me into the door to the back tunnel to his house. I backed up against it, by thinly clothed back hitting the harsh wood. I felt the blood pumping through my body. He reached past me to unlatch the door and I tumbled backwards. He followed, slamming the door shut behind him loud enough to make me cringe.

I felt a bit nervous and a bit embarrassed, as the Guild had probably seen that display, but at the same time, I was being held against the stone wall of the unlit tunnel while the Guildmaster bit and sucked on my neck, so I was damn well past caring. I was soaking through my underwear and rubbed my thighs together in discomfort. He noticed and pulled back from my neck abruptly. He reached down, pulled up the skirt of my dress, and wrenched my legs apart. Tamriel underwear weren't the durable, stretchy things that modern day ones were, so it was apparently easy for him to shred mine down the middle. I gasped loudly, then in a moment of clarity, I looked over to the wooden door. It led right to the Cistern, and quite a few people I knew. My hand flew up to my mouth reflexively as I tried to keep quiet. He lifted me at the knees and I wrapped my legs around him to keep myself steady. One of my hands gripped his shoulder tightly, and I was grateful he wasn't wearing his armor at the moment. He held me up with one arm and used his other to guide his cock as he rubbed it in the wetness leaking out of me. I nearly cried out and pressed my face into his shoulder, breathing heavy.

I was a bit unprepared when he pushed into me, and I bit down on his shoulder to keep from crying out in pleasure at the sensation of tightness. I settled for breathing heavily and mumbling profanities under my breath. The rough, uneven wall behind me dug into my clothed back, which only added to the sensation. I spared a thought for the people who might hear if we were too loud, and bit down on his shoulder again at a particularly hard thrust, though I mostly got the cloth of his shirt.

"Having a hard time with something?" he taunted. I growled, still hunched over into his shoulder, fingers digging into his back. I felt that coil tightening inside me as he began to tease me. "Mm?" He readjusted his grip on me in order to free one of his hands, which flew up to cover my mouth. He pushed it back against the wall gently, thankfully aware enough not to slam my head into the stone wall, but once it was there, he pushed and tightened his hand over my mouth. I moaned into it. "Well, it looks like you need some help." He leaned in closer. "Can't have you screaming, can we?" He quickened his pace suddenly, enough to push me over the edge, my eyes rolling back as I muffled myself as much as possible.

When he was finished a few second later, he released my legs but still leaned into me. I rested my head on his shoulder again, breathing heavily. Mercer's breaths were also ragged, but once he caught his breath, he stepped back from me. When he noticed my legs were a bit shaky, he let me sit down gently. I rested my head on the wall behind me, thinking I was nearly able to fall asleep. My discarded underwear were long gone. He had put himself back together quickly, but I was a bit of a mess. As per usual, really. If I wanted to though, I could, I supposed. It didn't matter. Why bother? Relax. I looked up at him. He seemed like was about to say something, but didn't.

"Eh?" I asked. He raised an eyebrow.

"Where are you from?" he asked. I knew I had a faint accent, but it was a bit different than the usual Imperial's, yes. I knew sometimes I held myself back from using slang nobody would understand. Who the hell knows what a dooryard is, right? A Canadian from a city would sound like an American, but living out in the shit you do get a bit of an accent when you're relaxing, like I do. Not if you're being professional, though. Just slang and a bit of a twang. I wondered what I looked and sounded most like in Tamriel a long while ago, considering it would probably come up, and I was not about to tell anyone, ever, where I came from. Why bother?

"You haven't heard of it," I said. "Canada." He shook his head.

"Is that in Cyrodiil?"

"Yep," I answered. He offered me his hand, which I gladly took, and I was pulled to my feet. He turned to walk away from me to the Cistern door, but stopped after a step or so.

"Oh. I have work to do," he said in afterthought. "You can go clean yourself up."

* * *

I did, gladly, in his damn fine bathroom. It was silly, considering what I once would've thought of as a _nice_ bathroom, and this wasn't it. Though, it was by what I was used to lately. Lake baths weren't new to me by any means; I was a seasoned camper. Though, living like that permanently made you miss a hot bath. I didn't want to just help myself to the bathtub, though, so I restrained myself.

I headed down to the Cistern afterwards, nervous but determined to face it, in a way. It wasn't like I was embarrassed about the kissing, or the sex, which in all honesty, we were quiet about and I doubted they heard. It was more the fact that it was Mercer Frey who had done so. I knew it was a weird choice, a sort of strange taste of mine for some reason. Well, not a vague reason - I could list them, sure. I doubted some of the others would see it in a very positive light. Sleeping with the boss, right?

I entered through the tunnel entrance from Mercer's house. There was no point in pretending now. No heads shot up when I pushed the door open. I was then found behind Mercer, who was back to brooding over his desk. He looked up at me when I passed by, but didn't say anything. I stooped to pick up my abandoned bow, looking Mercer in the eye as I did, before continuing on my way. I headed for my bunk and chest of supplies. I wanted to change clothes after all that.

The bunkroom was empty. I opened my chest and started to undress while no one was around. I took the tiny handheld mirror I had out and examined my ruffled appearance. I'd already seen it in Mercer's house, but he had left marks on my neck and shoulder. I didn't really care. My back was a bit red as well. I pulled on pants and a blouse this time, as I was considering asking Delvin for a job. While I was pulling on the shirt, Sapphire entered the room. She didn't say anything to me, though she never really did anyway. It did feel like she looked at me, though. I ignored her and left for the cistern again, bow in hand, buckling my bracers on as I walked. I swung the bow over my back.

Outside the room, I bumped into Brynjolf.

"Hey, lass," he greeted. I returned the greeting and he rushed off, a bit short with me. He was probably a bit uncomfortable. They probably all were. Likely it would pass. I figure it was a bit of a shock.

"Vipir." I greeted the man with a wave as he left the Flagon for the Cistern. "Going on a job?"

"Yeah, er," he started. "In Windhelm. See you after?"

"Course," I agreed. He left, though normally he may have told me more about the job. Maybe he was just in a hurry? He was one of the only people here I would call a friend more than a coworker of sorts. I shrugged, and continued on my way to Delvin.

The fishing job for Delvin took me three days. It was rather complicated, as the target was a noble type in Markarth. Either way, I finished it successfully and returned to the Guild, all things usual. I was appreciative that through all of this Delvin treated me normally. It wasn't like anybody was rude or said anything to me. We're all adults here. But I did notice that both before I left and when I returned, I got odd looks. Friends were short with me, like they weren't sure how to talk with me anymore. Even Vipir.

I spent a couple hours in the Flagon, sitting at a table with a bottle of mead. The Dragonborn was there. I hadn't really spoken to the man yet, though I'd seen him around a little bit. He was talking about leaving for Whiterun in the morning on a job for Maven, which I could remember. Soon Karliah would be in the picture. I bit the inside of my cheek thinking about it, not sure what I was going to do in or about that situation yet. I could just wait through it, but where would that leave me? They might even turn on me, now that they knew I sleep with the man... Some of them would be pissed. I'm sure Brynjolf or Vipir would defend me. Delvin would. I stopped thinking about it, and tired of listening to the Dragonborn's - Sarkan's - stories. He wasn't bragging, but he'd had a couple drinks and was at a table with a few others sharing more comical stories about his adventures. They were a bit funny, but I wasn't in the mood. I gave up, payed Vekel, and left the Flagon.

I went into the Cistern, where Mercer wasn't. I supposed he was away or at his house. I hoped he hadn't latched the doors. I wondered if I would be able to break in, but I was afraid to try it. I didn't want the man to perceive me as a threat. If he knew it was me, or if he knew it was me and that I was just practicing, sure. Or if he trusted me for some reason. At the moment, though, I was afraid I might find myself with my head cut off before he even noticed who I was if he hadn't invited me in.

I went to open the first door, which didn't have a lock on it, and followed the tunnel down to the trap door, which was thankfully ajar. I stepped onto the ladder and pushed it upwards, letting it thud against the floor so that if he was around he would hear me coming. _Really_ , I didn't want to startle him. The house was dimly lit, and I found the sitting room empty. I listened, wondering if he was upstairs. I didn't hear anything, so I left the trapdoor open and sat down on the sofa chair.

I wished for a drink while I sat there, eventually picking up the book next to me. It was on the Dwemer, and I had just started flipping through it when Mercer climbed up through the trap door. I froze where I was. He noticed the trap door was open, so he came into the room with a dagger out. I bit my lip.

"Sorry," I said. He turned in my direction. He frowned and put the dagger away, thankfully. "I don't mean to intrude, I just..." He didn't say anything, but he did close the trap door and latch it, so I supposed he wasn't kicking me out.

"It's fine," he said finally. I nodded, and replaced the book on the side table. I loved to read and research, but I felt nerves clutch at my stomach that maybe I shouldn't have touched it. He didn't mention it. He walked past me towards the kitchen, only to stop and turn to face me in the doorway. "Do you want a drink?"


	14. Chapter 14

To my great delight, I found myself sitting cross legged on the same couch with a glass of whisky in my hand. It had been a while now since I had enjoyed a good glass of whisky, and impressively this was good quality shit. I had almost expected swill, just because I didn't commonly see whisky, or any other alcohol that I had previously enjoyed. I missed rum as well. Regardless, the whisky was just barely cold, and burned slightly as I drank it, but it was unarguably enjoyable. The candlelight's reflection flickered in the golden whisky. I wished for ice, but beggars can't be choosers, after all.

Mercer was settling into the same chair he had been in when he had first led me to his house, a similar glass of wine in his hand. He took a drink of it and looked across at me. He was still armored, his hair ruffled, and as I squinted I noticed a blood red patch on the tunic peeking out from under his armor. My brows furrowed.

"Are you hurt?" I asked without processing the words. He met my eyes and I saw a smile flicker across his face. He looked down at the blood and crossed his arms.

"It's not _mine_ ," he snorted. "You almost sounded concerned just then." He was teasing, not that you could tell by his tone or face. I shrugged. I stuck for just a moment on the fact that the blood wasn't his, and that he had probably killed somebody. I pondered that thought for a moment. I had killed someone, a while ago. A drug addled madman, maybe, but a living breathing person. In all honesty, I hadn't thought about it since. I wondered if someone else would have stayed up thinking about it. I took a large gulp of whisky.

"Where did you... go?" I asked hesitantly. I doubted he would say, considering the blood and his privacy. He looked like he was about to answer, but he didn't. I took another drink, noticing the glass emptying a bit quickly. It hadn't hit me yet.

"Why did you come up here?" he finally questioned. I was glad he didn't seem threatened by me, though I supposed, after you've seen someone... well imagining the sex we had, I could see why I wasn't very threatening. I didn't doubt he still had his guard up constantly, though.

"Well," I started, and trailed off for a moment. He pinned me with his eyes and I swallowed, unable to deny the question with his gaze boring into me. I finished, a bit embarrassed. "I was sick of getting sideways looks. Just wanted some peace." He didn't say anything right away, nor did he break his gaze away. I squirmed. Eventually, he stopped to take a drink and leaned back in his chair.

"It's fine. You can come up here."

I bit my lip, clutching my knees up to my chest comfortably. I nodded. He appeared to have given that decision some though. He frequently seemed to take time to think when speaking with me. Perhaps I was the opposite around him.

"Thank you," I muttered.

The silence wasn't uncomfortable. I finished my drink. I leaned my head back against the headrest, feeling the alcohol wash over me. My head swam pleasantly and I felt warmth in my stomach. I relaxed in it for a moment, before feeling pressure in my bladder. I stood up, a bit too quick, and wobbled as my head rushed. I reached for something beside me to steady myself, only to find nothing. Mercer's hand shot out and steadied me, the man standing up next to me.

"That was one drink," he pointed out. I couldn't hold it; I started laughing. He looked at me seriously at first, but then I saw him crack a smile, and he laughed lightly as my laughter faded.

"What can I say? I'm not very big." He smiled a bit.

"Come on."

He helped me up the stairs and into the washroom, though after the initial head rush, it wasn't as necessary. I did feel the liquor, but not so strongly as to stumble without provocation. When I left the washroom, I looked around for him but couldn't see him immediately. The candles downstairs had been extinguished, and I could see a faint glow from the main bedroom. I wandered hesitantly in that direction, where I walked in on Mercer undressing. I didn't pause on this, but I wasn't sure how to act in the new room. I hovered near the doorway. Once finished, he stood behind me and began to kiss my neck. He slowly undressed me.

The sex was gentle, this time, though usually it wasn't and I preferred it not to be, that didn't make this time any less enjoyable. He was still Mercer Frey, and still commanding even while his touch was gentle. He still made me shiver. I was tired before, and thoroughly exhausted after, so I burrowed into the blankets and fell asleep shortly, mildly aware of his presence behind me.

* * *

When I woke up the next morning, it was wrapped in Mercer. That was a first, but I supposed he had always been awake before me. I was comforted in this. I never had any worries about whether he cared about me or if it was just sex; I had always assumed it to be just sex and didn't bother myself very much about it. I knew that if I found myself without him, I'd be lonelier, but I refused to really think about it. I had formed an attachment to the man, unwittingly, though I never dwelled on it until that moment. I hadn't entertained the idea as realistic, or any more than the jump in my head when I looked at him. I didn't love the man, but I was undeniably drawn to him. I couldn't help that.

He woke up a bit after me, and likely noticed I had burrowed even closer to him. I had dozed off again since I originally woke up. He didn't seem alarmed to find me pressed against him. He stretched and I blinked my eyes open, backing onto my own pillow.

We went about the moment with only idle chit chat. He said good morning to me, offered me a few things for breakfast. I washed up and went downstairs to find breakfast half made. I decided I may as well help, and went into the kitchen with him. We worked together with ease, handing off tasks to one another silently. It was comfortable. With the food made, we sat down at the tiny table to eat it. There were only two chairs at the dinky thing, and it was riddled in papers, which Mercer took a moment to move and pile while I gathered the food. Once I sat down, he handed me one of those papers.

"Here," he said. "You might like this."

I scanned the page. It was a job, the direct letter, not directions. It was an interesting request, and rather complicated, but it fit my skillset and the things I found exciting. I enjoyed new cities and I enjoyed up close and personal tasks. That time I had to pickpocket a noble in the Blue Palace was exhilarating. This job in particular was threefold. I had to get in to the College of Winterhold. I knew no magic at all, so I was already forming lies and scheming how I might get in.

The client, anonymous, wanted us to frame a target by stealing an enchanted necklace behind a complicated three-key puzzle lock. The details of the lock followed, along with the key I would need to get and how to tamper with the other two locks, so that it would be obvious they were tampered with. Then, I would need to steal the item, and return the key to it's owner. I could keep the necklace as an added bonus. The letter was adamant that I steal nothing else from the vault. I wondered what I would see in there and how I could ever resist.

"You think I can do this?" I asked, a bit skeptical of my own ability. Mercer didn't answer, taking another bite of his eggs.

"Possibly."

Is this some kind of test? I almost asked the question aloud, but refrained. Did I want to know? Either way, I would succeed. Perhaps it would result in more trust, which was something I desired. I barely allowed myself to put words and thoughts to my desires, but I knew that much. I knew hat I wanted this man to let me in, and it scared me.

"When should I leave?"

"Soon, would be preferable," he answered. A few moments passed in silence as we picked away at our breakfast.

"I've never been up to Winterhold. Is it that cold?" I chatted. It was aimless.

"Oh. Freezing, yes."

"I was never that fond of the cold. I can stand it well, but I've always wanted to go South," I admitted. I was Canadian. Didn't mean I loved the snow. Mercer looked thoughtful for a second.

"Maybe you'll get to, someday."

"Well," I finished, "I'm certainly not staying in Riften forever, nice as it is here."

* * *

Almost as soon as Mercer went down to the Cistern, I left for Winterhold. I anticipated the job, ready with a heavy pouch of coin in my hand. I had only vague ideas about how to get into the College. I wondered how strict their security was, or if they may ask me to perform a spell like in the game. I knew already that had to be avoided. I had no idea if I even had the capacity within myself to perform spells, and if I did, I had no idea how to tap into it. Though, wouldn't that be something? Real magic. I hadn't seen much of it at all in my time here so far. If I did, I looked at it with childlike wonder. It was like a story.

The carriage ride was bumpy, as we rode up to Windhelm. The driver wouldn't take me straight to Winterhold, just for the hour of day and length of the journey. I rented a room in Candlehearth Hall and the next morning, I set off in a new carriage for the second leg of the journey.

I had changed into thicker clothing in Windhelm. I hadn't brought my full Guild armor with me on this job, considering it was a large part of my job to be inconspicuous. It wouldn't do for anyone to know why I was there. I wore my bracers and carried my bow, both for the little protection it offered and to get accustomed to it better.

It did indeed get chillier as Winterhold approached. It was just barely fall, the month of October, I judged, but as we headed north of Windhelm, I noticed frost on the grass and the scent of snow on the air. It dusted a few trees and rooftops.

Upon our arrival, I went first for the inn. This wasn't the type of job one could do overnight. I had preparations to do and needed to scout out the College. It also wouldn't do to be under suspicion. It would do for me to remain at the inn under pretense of other business, and remain for a day or two after the theft as well. Thus, I acquired a few nights' stay at The Frozen Hearth Inn, and luckily was not asked my business thus far. I brought my belongings to my room, and then went began my work.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Dainial: Thank you for your review 3 Yeah, I always found a non-dragonborn perspective interesting as well

* * *

It took me two days to figure out how I would get inside the College. It wasn't heavily guarded by any means, but it did have a watch set out on the narrow bridge, and the gates closed frequently. I noticed the type of people who went through. Mages, and scholars, but also adventurers with some interesting artifacts to sell, or merchants with deliveries. Supplies went across a few times, and that was how I got in.

I paid off one of the merchants to bring me with him as his apprentice. He didn't ask what I was doing and didn't want to know, but I kept him full of gold. And so, we carried in his shipment of wine together. Once inside, I slipped off while he was unloading to poke around. I wasn't able to memorize schedules and locations from just this one visit, of course, so over the next two weeks, I'd go in regularly with his shipments of various goods from the town. Mostly food and wine. Over time, I was recognized by the mages there and my presence was normal. I had gained some trust.

The mage who I needed to get the key from wasn't very accessible. He was a tall Imperial, a higher up who managed the stores, inventory, and likely had other duties I wasn't aware of. I needed to arrange to bump into him, and it took me a while to get the opportunity. I eyed the place where his key ring was tied to his waist. I knew this would have to be done exactly right. When the opportunity finally came, he was overlooking the delivery of our shipment.

I arranged to bump into him to snag the keys, which was the easy part.

I had previously located the chest I was to break into, and had some knowledge of the usual comings and goings in the area. As such, once the Imperial left the area, I was able to head up to the artifacts chamber, which was an open area where any college member could go. I, however, would have been looked on with suspicion for my presence, which was why I was sure to remain hidden. I understood then why the instructions were to take nothing but the necklace; the room was very extravagant, and many artifacts caught my eye. I resisted.

At the back of the room was the chest in question. I made my way over to it, and knelt down to pick the rather complicated locks. It was difficult, progress was slow, and I watched out the window as the sun moved across the sky. I knew already that my companions would have finished delivering their shipment, and they wouldn't have waited for me. They must already be outside. I wasn't sure of how I was going to make my exit, but that would come later.

Between picking the first and second lock, my alert ears picked up the sounds of footsteps. I grabbed my things and tumbled underneath a nearby table, hidden by a long tablecloth. I stilled and calmed my breathing, and waited, as quietly as possible, until they were gone. I have no idea who came in, as I didn't take the risk to check, but it was a relief when they were gone and I returned to my work.

The locks were the most complicated I had ever tried to pick, and they gave me trouble, but in the end, I turned the key in the final lock and opened the chest. It was small, and the only thing inside was a jeweled emerald necklace, which I slid into my inner pocket. I closed the chest again, as it wouldn't do to be too conspicuous.

Next step... plant the keys back on the Imperial. I had to hope he hadn't yet missed them. I had an idea though; I intended to place them in his chambers, in a place where he may not have looked, so that if he returns, he will simply think he forgot or lost them. I had thought of this ahead of time and located his chambers, which I started to make my way towards hesitantly. I wasn't sure if I would run into anyone, nor if he would be occupying said chambers.

I was lucky on the way there. No one saw me, and he wasn't in his chambers. I gauged it was about supper time, so that was likely why. I slipped into his quarters unchallenged, and left his keys on the floor halfway under his bed, so he would find them easily and think they fell. I walked over to the door and pressed up against it to listen to footsteps before exiting. I heard none, so I slipped out and hurried down the hallway away from the scene of my crime. I stopped at the top of the stairs to go down to the main entrance.

It was then I heard footsteps approaching, and I tossed myself into the room behind me quickly, relieved to find it empty. It was a bedroom, and a bit messy at that. I was careful not to touch anything. I peered out the window while I waited for the people to leave. I was lucky to have a view of the courtyard and bridge. As the sun was starting to set, there was one man standing at the head of the bridge, with the gates closed. Slowly, a lie came together in my mind. I turned to the mirror and stand.

I started to get half undressed, pulling off the wrappings around my breasts. They didn't hold them down or anything like that; they were still rather visible, but the added layer under the corset made me a bit more comfortable as it felt more like the support of a bra. Which I missed, dearly.

I had a cloak to warm myself in this awful, cold climate. I took it off and ruffled the skirts of my simple dress, tucking part into my underclothes so it would look quickly put on. I loosened and untied my corset so it hung loosely on my body, my breasts popping out slighty. I pulled the shoulder of my dress down so it fell off and bared my skin. Lastly, I messed my hair up in the back. I wrapped my cloak haphazardly over myself and headed out into the empty corridor.

The walk from the building to the head of the bridge was cold, enough to gize a rosy glow to my nose and chest. I hoped I might look flushed.

"You. You come deliver the shipments. What were you doing here so late?" the man demanded, blocking my path to the gates.

I took a moment, my eyes on the floor, to think of the filthiest things Mercer has done to me. It is, by far, enough to make me begin to blush, imagining these things at a time like this. I looked up at him, and shifted my clothes enough to draw attention to them. My red face and chest, disheveled clothes and hair, combined with my embarrassed "uhhh..." was, to my delight, enough to let him draw his own conclusion.

"Whatever," he muttered, and opened the gate for me. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

Successful in my scheme, I tightened my corset again as I returned to the inn.

* * *

I left town two days later on a stolen horse. It wasn't really my intention, but I didn't have the kind of coin that purchases horses, though I might have actually paid for one if I had the coin, only to allay any suspicion. I doubted there was any. I didn't _look_ like a thief, and I stuck around a long time. There was someone to take the fall. It all fit. Regardless, the next carriage coming to Winterhold was scheduled for days from now, unless by chance someone commissioned one to carry them here before that.

I didn't want to wait. I missed warmer weather, and the comfort of the Guild. I didn't want to admit it, but I missed Mercer's presence, the sex I was being deprived of out in the cold north. And his nice house. I couldn't help but think about what could be going on in my absence. The Dragonborn was there. I didn't know how soon it would be that Mercer discovered Karliah was back around, and they went to Snowveil Sanctum. I remembered this, but not the specifics of how they got there. For many reasons, I dreaded the day. I wasn't sure how to... change any of it. The outcomes. I wasn't sure if I should; but I knew that this attachment I was starting to get was making me second guess on if I could just sit back while Mercer was discovered a traitor and killed. And then I was likely killed, for being in his bed. So really, there was practical interest in it for me. I'd probably die with him if I didn't help cover it up.

These were the thoughts that plagued me as I rode south.

Despite it all, though, it felt fantastic to be astride a horse again. And, it was a lovely horse. I was going to be loathe to part with it, but I knew it would be reported stolen and I probably couldn't ride right into Riften on it. She ran happily, though, always wanting to push into the next gate. I let her run, sometimes, when she wanted to, because it was hard for me to resist the wind in my hair as the bitter cold faded a bit while we traveled. It felt good, but I didn't want her to tire, so often I pulled her back into a walk.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable journey, and I was indeed sad when I unsaddled her and left her to wander just outside of Riften. I anticipated that she would be found (and did hear that she was, a few days later, and she was returned to Winterhold) and headed into the city.

I didn't return directly to the Cistern. Instead, I went to Mercer's house. It wasn't far from the main gates, and it was him who gave me the job, after all, not Delvin. I knocked on the front door, not sure if he would answer or not. If he was inside, probably. I knew he kept the doors locked. I almost took it as a challenge to try to pick the locks, but I refrained, unsure if that would offend him or not. Then, as the moments passed, I thought more about what the consequences of offending him may be, and they seemed more delicious. I nearly picked the lock before I realized it was possible that he had already left with the Dragonborn. Nerves clutched at my stomach and I turned away from his house, walking halfway down the pathway before I hear shuffling behind the door, and the scratching of the door against the floor, the squeak of the wood. I turned around quickly in anticipation, biting on my lip. I always chewed on the same place, and I had a scar from it, which only made me chew the scar even more. It was habitual.

"You're back." It was nearly too quiet to hear. The Guildmaster was leaning in the doorway, looking a bit disheveled. His armor wasn't on, but it looked like he took it off recently, as he was wearing the simple clothes he usually wore underneath it. His hair looked freshly washed, damp and messy. He had an impassive look on his face, the slight wrinkles around his eyes more visible with what appeared to be his tiredness. I wondered how things were going while I was away. It was longer than I'd have liked to have been in the cold shithole. Despite the lack of sleep, his posture was at ease, his arms crossed comfortably in front of him. I didn't come any closer until he nodded his head inside. He disappeared into the house and I followed into the dim, unlit room. The curtains were haphazardly drawn, as was usual, and they afforded only a bit of natural light because of it.

I didn't turn around as the door clattered shut. The intimidating sound was almost normal now, on the contrary to the first night I came here, when just the slam of the trap door nearly made me jump. Now, it only sent a knot into my stomach. Allowing the feeling to settle in my gut, I pulled the stolen necklace out from my inner pocket. Then, I turned halfway to meet Mercer, who was coming up behind me silently. I met his gaze and held out the necklace.

"I sure hope this is worth some damn gold," I said. He looked at my face for a moment more, before turning his attention to the necklace. He lifted it up for a second, and then shrugged as though he had seen better. I bit my tongue, figuratively, pulling the necklace back and putting it my pocket.

"Worth something, I'm sure. Enchanted." I nodded, though it wasn't a question. "You were gone a long time."

"Complicated job," I muttered. "Cold as shit. Glad to be back."

Mercer had begun pacing around. The low table next to us had a few scattered papers on it. He pinned me in place with just his eyes, before moving behind me to shift the pages around. I stood still, hoping, anticipating, an ache building in my gut from the weeks with nothing but my own hands, which I were currently wringing together. Next thing, my pack was bring pulled off my back, and my cloak. I was wearing simple pants and a tunic, with the corset underneath, because of the horseback travel I had been doing. From behind me, his hands started trailing lightly over my sides. I wanted more, more than gentleness and more than a light touch. I huffed. He must have noticed, as next thing, his hands reached underneath my shirt and unlaced my corset with ease. Faster than I could, likely. It was discarded, where I had no idea.

Next, I was puled backwards onto the table. My shirt was pushed up over my head, and twisted around my wrists, keeping them up above my head. I gasped and groaned at the sensation; a bit of a favourite, really. He released me to keep my hands above my head on my own, despite their bind, and pulled the rest of my clothing off, leaving me naked on the table. I pouted, as he stopped just to look at me, humming in consideration. He began teasingly dragging his fingertips across my skin. I arched my back, earning a slap to my left breast. I squeaked and pressed against the rough wood of the table.

"Want something?" he whispered. I groaned in frustration.

"Stop teasing," I demanded in a whine. He chuckled, causing me to huff.

"You don't give the orders." As he began teasing my inner thigh, I swore, and relented into begging. It hadn't taken long for him to get me going, considering my weeks alone. I hadn't in all honesty touched myself much, or most recently, and I was sensitive to the touch. I muttered and pleaded until I was told to spread my legs, which I did eagerly, and was rewarded with being touched where I wanted. He hummed in approval when he found the wetness there. Truly, it wasn't hard for him to get me soaking, as he pushed just about every button for me, sexually, from the start.

Perhaps he had been missing it for the weeks I was gone as well, as normally he would've teased me much longer, were we holed away in his house like this at night, as was usual before. Instead, he dove right in, and with little foreplay, not that much was needed, he began thrusting into me roughly, still fully clothed; another button pushed. I choked on sobs of pleasure as he bore down over top of me, one hand pushing my bound wrists above my head, the other playing roughly with my breasts.

"I think you _missed_ this," he teased, leaning down in my ear. His words set me to trembling underneath him. His pace didn't let up. "Though you always are easy," he whispered.

"For _you_ " I couldn't help but mutter the reply. The last syllable was a choked yelp on a particularly hard I wasn't approached sexually in the right way, it was actually rather challenging to get me aroused, so I couldn't help the correction. He grabbed my chin and turned my face up to look at him.

"Hm? Like this, do you?" he slowed down his pace to tease. I think I muttered a reply. "Of course. It's obvious." He reached down to rub circles around my clitoris and it nearly undid me. His other hand reached around to slap my ass, hard. It stung, and he squeezed roughly in the same spot, prolonging it. I moaned. "Come," he ordered in my ear.

I did, and I screamed his name. He pulled out from me once I was finished, rolling me over on the table. He roughly grabbed a handful of my hair while I lay there, dazed from my orgasm. I felt him line himself up to enter me again. Before he did, he pulled me back to him and said, "As pretty as it was hearing you scream my name, I don't recall telling you to." The harsh words made me moan and clench my muscles around nothing.

"Sorry, sir," I muttered. His grip tightened briefly, enjoying it, I figure, and I heard a small grunt behind me as he began thrusting again. He didn't last very long after that, since I was sensitive with juices all over, and he finished on my back.

I lay disheveled on the table, well fucked, in a daze. Yeah. I missed that.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's Note:** I did keep writing and posting this story on AO3 though I abandoned it here. I finished it a while ago and figured I'd post the rest of the chapters, even though I'm not fond of them, just in case someone wanted to read them for some reason.  
I received a simple, to the point review on here which was, in all fairness, 100% correct. It didn't stop me from writing anything, but I did stop posting to this website while I sort of came to terms with the point of what I was writing. And to get to the point of what I've realized from that experience is that I write fanficiton for myself. If I have a following of any kind, that will keep me working and perhaps make me consider writing something less self indulgent because I have someone to share it with, as happened with this story, so I have now started a second, grittier Mercer story. I digress - to circle back to the point, I write this to get all of this - the bad, the smut, the self-indulgent, the mary-sue, sometimes - out of my system. Because admittedly, if you were to read my original writing, my novel, my short stories - I don't put in smut. The tones are different. I put thought into every word, detail, scene, chapter, character, plotline, worldbuilding point. I am a perfectionist.

So I need this to not be perfect. This is here to remind myself and perhaps someone else reading this that it's okay to write things that are bad. For me, it's okay to share that, because maybe someone else will also have a guily, self-indulgent pleasure for Mercer Frey smut (as I've found some very nice people who do.)

You'll note I started rushing to the conclusion of this story. My apologies for how this gets worse as it goes on.

But really...

Write badly.

It's therapeutic. And it's the reason I haven't removed this story.

* * *

It took me two days to figure out how I would get inside the College. It wasn't heavily guarded by any means, but it did have a watch set out on the narrow bridge, and the gates closed frequently. I noticed the type of people who went through. Mages, and scholars, but also adventurers with some interesting artifacts to sell, or merchants with deliveries. Supplies went across a few times, and that was how I got in.

I paid off one of the merchants to bring me with him as his apprentice. He didn't ask what I was doing and didn't want to know, but I kept him full of gold. And so, we carried in his shipment of wine together. Once inside, I slipped off while he was unloading to poke around. I wasn't able to memorize schedules and locations from just this one visit, of course, so over the next two weeks, I'd go in regularly with his shipments of various goods from the town. Mostly food and wine. Over time, I was recognized by the mages there and my presence was normal. I had gained some trust.

The mage who I needed to get the key from wasn't very accessible. He was a tall Imperial, a higher up who managed the stores, inventory, and likely had other duties I wasn't aware of. I needed to arrange to bump into him, and it took me a while to get the opportunity. I eyed the place where his key ring was tied to his waist. I knew this would have to be done exactly right. When the opportunity finally came, he was overlooking the delivery of our shipment.

I arranged to bump into him to snag the keys, which was the easy part.

I had previously located the chest I was to break into, and had some knowledge of the usual comings and goings in the area. As such, once the Imperial left the area, I was able to head up to the artifacts chamber, which was an open area where any college member could go. I, however, would have been looked on with suspicion for my presence, which was why I was sure to remain hidden. I understood then why the instructions were to take nothing but the necklace; the room was very extravagant, and many artifacts caught my eye. I resisted.

At the back of the room was the chest in question. I made my way over to it, and knelt down to pick the rather complicated locks. It was difficult, progress was slow, and I watched out the window as the sun moved across the sky. I knew already that my companions would have finished delivering their shipment, and they wouldn't have waited for me. They must already be outside. I wasn't sure of how I was going to make my exit, but that would come later.

Between picking the first and second lock, my alert ears picked up the sounds of footsteps. I grabbed my things and tumbled underneath a nearby table, hidden by a long tablecloth. I stilled and calmed my breathing, and waited, as quietly as possible, until they were gone. I have no idea who came in, as I didn't take the risk to check, but it was a relief when they were gone and I returned to my work.

The locks were the most complicated I had ever tried to pick, and they gave me trouble, but in the end, I turned the key in the final lock and opened the chest. It was small, and the only thing inside was a jeweled emerald necklace, which I slid into my inner pocket. I closed the chest again, as it wouldn't do to be too conspicuous.

Next step... plant the keys back on the Imperial. I had to hope he hadn't yet missed them. I had an idea though; I intended to place them in his chambers, in a place where he may not have looked, so that if he returns, he will simply think he forgot or lost them. I had thought of this ahead of time and located his chambers, which I started to make my way towards hesitantly. I wasn't sure if I would run into anyone, nor if he would be occupying said chambers.

I was lucky on the way there. No one saw me, and he wasn't in his chambers. I gauged it was about supper time, so that was likely why. I slipped into his quarters unchallenged, and left his keys on the floor halfway under his bed, so he would find them easily and think they fell. I walked over to the door and pressed up against it to listen to footsteps before exiting. I heard none, so I slipped out and hurried down the hallway away from the scene of my crime. I stopped at the top of the stairs to go down to the main entrance.

It was then I heard footsteps approaching, and I tossed myself into the room behind me quickly, relieved to find it empty. It was a bedroom, and a bit messy at that. I was careful not to touch anything. I peered out the window while I waited for the people to leave. I was lucky to have a view of the courtyard and bridge. As the sun was starting to set, there was one man standing at the head of the bridge, with the gates closed. Slowly, a lie came together in my mind. I turned to the mirror and stand.

I started to get half undressed, pulling off the wrappings around my breasts. They didn't hold them down or anything like that; they were still rather visible, but the added layer under the corset made me a bit more comfortable as it felt more like the support of a bra. Which I missed, dearly.

I had a cloak to warm myself in this awful, cold climate. I took it off and ruffled the skirts of my simple dress, tucking part into my underclothes so it would look quickly put on. I loosened and untied my corset so it hung loosely on my body, my breasts popping out slighty. I pulled the shoulder of my dress down so it fell off and bared my skin. Lastly, I messed my hair up in the back. I wrapped my cloak haphazardly over myself and headed out into the empty corridor.

The walk from the building to the head of the bridge was cold, enough to gize a rosy glow to my nose and chest. I hoped I might look flushed.

"You. You come deliver the shipments. What were you doing here so late?" the man demanded, blocking my path to the gates.

I took a moment, my eyes on the floor, to think of the filthiest things Mercer has done to me. It is, by far, enough to make me begin to blush, imagining these things at a time like this. I looked up at him, and shifted my clothes enough to draw attention to them. My red face and chest, disheveled clothes and hair, combined with my embarrassed "uhhh..." was, to my delight, enough to let him draw his own conclusion.

"Whatever," he muttered, and opened the gate for me. He wouldn't meet my eyes.

Successful in my scheme, I tightened my corset again as I returned to the inn.

* * *

I left town two days later on a stolen horse. It wasn't really my intention, but I didn't have the kind of coin that purchases horses, though I might have actually paid for one if I had the coin, only to allay any suspicion. I doubted there was any. I didn't look like a thief, and I stuck around a long time. There was someone to take the fall. It all fit. Regardless, the next carriage coming to Winterhold was scheduled for days from now, unless by chance someone commissioned one to carry them here before that.

I didn't want to wait. I missed warmer weather, and the comfort of the Guild. I didn't want to admit it, but I missed Mercer's presence, the sex I was being deprived of out in the cold north. And his nice house. I couldn't help but think about what could be going on in my absence. The Dragonborn was there. I didn't know how soon it would be that Mercer discovered Karliah was back around, and they went to Snowveil Sanctum. I remembered this, but not the specifics of how they got there. For many reasons, I dreaded the day. I wasn't sure how to... change any of it. The outcomes. I wasn't sure if I should; but I knew that this attachment I was starting to get was making me second guess on if I could just sit back while Mercer was discovered a traitor and killed. And then I was likely killed, for being in his bed. So really, there was practical interest in it for me. I'd probably die with him if I didn't help cover it up.

These were the thoughts that plagued me as I rode south.

Despite it all, though, it felt fantastic to be astride a horse again. And, it was a lovely horse. I was going to be loathe to part with it, but I knew it would be reported stolen and I probably couldn't ride right into Riften on it. She ran happily, though, always wanting to push into the next gate. I let her run, sometimes, when she wanted to, because it was hard for me to resist the wind in my hair as the bitter cold faded a bit while we traveled. It felt good, but I didn't want her to tire, so often I pulled her back into a walk.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable journey, and I was indeed sad when I unsaddled her and left her to wander just outside of Riften. I anticipated that she would be found (and did hear that she was, a few days later, and she was returned to Winterhold) and headed into the city.

I didn't return directly to the Cistern. Instead, I went to Mercer's house. It wasn't far from the main gates, and it was him who gave me the job, after all, not Delvin. I knocked on the front door, not sure if he would answer or not. If he was inside, probably. I knew he kept the doors locked. I almost took it as a challenge to try to pick the locks, but I refrained, unsure if that would offend him or not. Then, as the moments passed, I thought more about what the consequences of offending him may be, and they seemed more delicious. I nearly picked the lock before I realized it was possible that he had already left with the Dragonborn. Nerves clutched at my stomach and I turned away from his house, walking halfway down the pathway before I hear shuffling behind the door, and the scratching of the door against the floor, the squeak of the wood. I turned around quickly in anticipation, biting on my lip. I always chewed on the same place, and I had a scar from it, which only made me chew the scar even more. It was habitual.

"You're back." It was nearly too quiet to hear. The Guildmaster was leaning in the doorway, looking a bit disheveled. His armor wasn't on, but it looked like he took it off recently, as he was wearing the simple clothes he usually wore underneath it. His hair looked freshly washed, damp and messy. He had an impassive look on his face, the slight wrinkles around his eyes more visible with what appeared to be his tiredness. I wondered how things were going while I was away. It was longer than I'd have liked to have been in the cold shithole. Despite the lack of sleep, his posture was at ease, his arms crossed comfortably in front of him. I didn't come any closer until he nodded his head inside. He disappeared into the house and I followed into the dim, unlit room. The curtains were haphazardly drawn, as was usual, and they afforded only a bit of natural light because of it.

I didn't turn around as the door clattered shut. The intimidating sound was almost normal now, on the contrary to the first night I came here, when just the slam of the trap door nearly made me jump. Now, it only sent a knot into my stomach. Allowing the feeling to settle in my gut, I pulled the stolen necklace out from my inner pocket. Then, I turned halfway to meet Mercer, who was coming up behind me silently. I met his gaze and held out the necklace.

"I sure hope this is worth some damn gold," I said. He looked at my face for a moment more, before turning his attention to the necklace. He lifted it up for a second, and then shrugged as though he had seen better. I bit my tongue, figuratively, pulling the necklace back and putting it my pocket.

"Worth something, I'm sure. Enchanted." I nodded, though it wasn't a question. "You were gone a long time."

"Complicated job," I muttered. "Cold as shit. Glad to be back."

Mercer had begun pacing around. The low table next to us had a few scattered papers on it. He pinned me in place with just his eyes, before moving behind me to shift the pages around. I stood still, hoping, anticipating, an ache building in my gut from the weeks with nothing but my own hands, which I were currently wringing together. Next thing, my pack was bring pulled off my back, and my cloak. I was wearing simple pants and a tunic, with the corset underneath, because of the horseback travel I had been doing. From behind me, his hands started trailing lightly over my sides. I wanted more, more than gentleness and more than a light touch. I huffed. He must have noticed, as next thing, his hands reached underneath my shirt and unlaced my corset with ease. Faster than I could, likely. It was discarded, where I had no idea.

Next, I was puled backwards onto the table. My shirt was pushed up over my head, and twisted around my wrists, keeping them up above my head. I gasped and groaned at the sensation; a bit of a favourite, really. He released me to keep my hands above my head on my own, despite their bind, and pulled the rest of my clothing off, leaving me naked on the table. I pouted, as he stopped just to look at me, humming in consideration. He began teasingly dragging his fingertips across my skin. I arched my back, earning a slap to my left breast. I squeaked and pressed against the rough wood of the table.

"Want something?" he whispered. I groaned in frustration.

"Stop teasing," I demanded in a whine. He chuckled, causing me to huff.

"You don't give the orders." As he began teasing my inner thigh, I swore, and relented into begging. It hadn't taken long for him to get me going, considering my weeks alone. I hadn't in all honesty touched myself much, or most recently, and I was sensitive to the touch. I muttered and pleaded until I was told to spread my legs, which I did eagerly, and was rewarded with being touched where I wanted. He hummed in approval when he found the wetness there. Truly, it wasn't hard for him to get me soaking, as he pushed just about every button for me, sexually, from the start.

Perhaps he had been missing it for the weeks I was gone as well, as normally he would've teased me much longer, were we holed away in his house like this at night, as was usual before. Instead, he dove right in, and with little foreplay, not that much was needed, he began thrusting into me roughly, still fully clothed; another button pushed. I choked on sobs of pleasure as he bore down over top of me, one hand pushing my bound wrists above my head, the other playing roughly with my breasts.

"I think you missed this," he teased, leaning down in my ear. His words set me to trembling underneath him. His pace didn't let up. "Though you always are easy," he whispered.

"For you" I couldn't help but mutter the reply. The last syllable was a choked yelp on a particularly hard I wasn't approached sexually in the right way, it was actually rather challenging to get me aroused, so I couldn't help the correction. He grabbed my chin and turned my face up to look at him.

"Hm? Like this, do you?" he slowed down his pace to tease. I think I muttered a reply. "Of course. It's obvious." He reached down to rub circles around my clitoris and it nearly undid me. His other hand reached around to slap my ass, hard. It stung, and he squeezed roughly in the same spot, prolonging it. I moaned. "Come," he ordered in my ear.

I did, and I screamed his name. He pulled out from me once I was finished, rolling me over on the table. He roughly grabbed a handful of my hair while I lay there, dazed from my orgasm. I felt him line himself up to enter me again. Before he did, he pulled me back to him and said, "As pretty as it was hearing you scream my name, I don't recall telling you to." The harsh words made me moan and clench my muscles around nothing.

"Sorry, sir," I muttered. His grip tightened briefly, enjoying it, I figure, and I heard a small grunt behind me as he began thrusting again. He didn't last very long after that, since I was sensitive with juices all over, and he finished on my back.

I lay disheveled on the table, well fucked, in a daze. Yeah. I missed that.


	17. Chapter 17

**Author's Note:** This chapter skips through time. Enjoy.

* * *

My situation was, truly, astounding. It still baffled me at times, such as this one, sprawled on a table in Mercer's house. I stretched, regaining the use of my limbs and pulled myself off the surface. Mercer had already put himself together and was sitting back in a chair across the room. I looked over at him, sitting down at the table. My shirt was tangled around my wrists and I squinted at the twists and knots. I tried to wiggle my hand out of it, which worked after a fashion, since it was a cotton shirt instead of rope or any such tougher material for knots. I places my shirt on the table and glanced around, looking for my corset. I saw it a few paces away on the floor and began to dress again.

Once finished, I turned to Mercer, standing just in front of him. He was dressed, but looked about as disheveled as he had when I showed up. I wondered why.

"You look like hell," I said. He quirked an eyebrow. I shrugged. "Should I pawn this to Tonilia, or do you have other plans for it?" I pulled out the jade necklace again. He took it, and looked at it for a second.

"I'll do it," he said. I didn't really care, honestly, I liked the rush of stealing, but wasn't particularly money hungry. He'd probably stiff me on the money for it, not that it mattered. I was staying in his house after all, and he fed me frequently, so it wasn't like I didn't sort of owe him something anyway.

"Should I take a job from Delvin...?" I trailed off, unsure on if he'd give me one or not. I knew I hadn't fucked it up, so I wouldn't be surprised if he had more up his sleeve. I hoped so. It had been exciting, even if I hadn't preferred the climate. He took a second to consider his answer.

"No. I'll get something for you. Just stick around for now."

That, I could agree to. The break would be welcome. I would go back to practice and training, as well.

"I'm going to the Cistern for a bit," I told him. He nodded, getting up to dig through his papers and books again as I went for the trapdoor.

* * *

I was made welcome at the Cistern, though Vex glared at me while I exited from Mercer's door. She was cold towards me, and so were some of the others, but Vipir was a friend, and Delvin. The Dragonborn was gone somewhere. Brynjolf was as well, and didn't arrive back in Riften until a couple days after me. When he did, he acted a bit strange around me. I imagined it was strange to see both myself and Mercer in that sort of light, but he was never rude to me. I pestered him to continue teaching me to fight with a dagger, and he did. That occupied my time regularly over the few weeks I spent in Riften until Mercer sent me on another job.

That was how time passed for about a month. I did a few jobs, nearly all of which were for Mercer, of differing types. It felt a bit like I had gained some trust, as they weren't always complicated or difficult, but rather I found myself doing sort of off the books tasks. I picked up a job or two from Delvin at the same time.

Overall, it was an enjoyable time.

* * *

"Is this for me?" I asked, surprised. I was sitting in bed with a book - the Barenziah ones - when Mercer arrived around the usual time. He had a package, though, which contained some basic make up, something I had run out of. Kohl especially. Despite no longer being a whore, where make up was the norm, I still wore the stuff. It was for myself really, I was used to seeing myself with it on and it was strange not to. I think it may be another reason Vex glared at me.

"You like the stuff. You're out of it." It was simple, an explanation of sorts. I couldn't help a twinge of sentiment, but we didn't say much else on the matter. I set up in the washroom, which I had taken over a lot of, as well as parts of the house, in all honesty. My make up had been kept in a cupboard there, and I stole books constantly every time I saw one I may want, so I had overfilled his bookshelves and was stacking books in haphazard piles. He didn't mind, as I'd asked if any of it bothered him. For a thief, he didn't seem to keep too many possessions, so there was space for me to indulge. He stole the odd book for me as well, something I was grateful for.

"Thank you," I muttered into his shoulder later that night. It wasn't exactly cuddling, really. I often pressed against him, and sometimes I woke up with an arm or a leg thrown over me, but I wasn't curled into him. There was no handholding, or anything sappy like that. It was just closeness, which was comfortable. He didn't say anything to my gratitude.

* * *

Oof!

I hit the floor hard after Brynjolf tripped me, pointing the training dagger to my neck. I sighed, another loss.

"You are getting better," he conceded, seeing my disappointment. I wanted to be even better, was the issue. I gave in, though, nodding to his comment and accepting the arm up he gave me.

He only gave me a moment to collect myself before he swung; I parried the swing with my dagger and tried to lunch back, but he spun out of the way. I ducked under a blow, attempting to place a cut on his midsection while I was low, but he stepped back. He was faster than me, despite size, and truly I was always outmatched while we practiced. But, he was good at what he did, so if I met someone less trained than me, I'd still stand a chance. And there was no underestimating the element of surprise.

We held each other off for a few minutes during that match, before he finally caught me by twisting my wrist and disarming me.

It turned into a bit of a brawl after that. It was still practice, at dodges and punches and kicks, something I felt much more comfortable with. It just still didn't feel quite normal to be holding a blade. I felt like it was almost a liability. At first, it was almost as though I'd hurt myself with it rather than my opponent, but Bryn was right, I had improved that much at least.

I was glad for the minuscule capabilities I was gaining, even if I wished them better.

"Felicity." I turned around to my name, spoken by Mercer, only to be knocked over and winded by the swing I failed to pay attention to while distracted. From the ground, I turned to look up at Brynjolf first with a friendly glare. He looked a bit sheepish, but overall didn't regret it, I was sure. I got up and dusted myself off, turning to Mercer. He beckoned me out of the room, so I turned to my sparring partner.

"See you later," I said. I smiled and waved as I turned to follow Mercer. He led me back to his desk.

"I have a job for you."

* * *

It was a simple enough job, a bit more fetch and carry, really. I stole paperwork, and delivered it somewhere else. I did this a few times across the entire province, which lasted about a week and a half. I returned to Riften as winter began to take hold. I shivered on my way into town, noting a light snowfall speckling the ground and landing in my hair. It was gross. There wasn't even Christmas to look forwards to, here.

I entered the Cistern through the cemetery entrance. On my way in, I ran right into the Dragonborn. He and I hadn't talked much, ever, mostly because though he didn't look at me with disgust, he was friends with Vex and spent a lot of time in the Flagon, just about coinciding with the decline of my own time in the Flagon. I didn't feel as welcome as I used to, but, partially at the urging of Mercer, I let it roll off me when I spent any time around the Guild headquarters. When I mentioned how some of them looked at me, Mercer's advice was along the lines of "look back." I took it. Spit on me, spit on you, right?

Though, the Dragonborn left well enough alone, so I did the same for him. He was spirited from my observations. Enjoyed telling a good story, perhaps embellishing a bit too much. He was cocky, and rather loud, and in all honestly it was his loud brashness that I disliked about him, not his arrogance. Though, his arrogance was probably earned, considering the things he's done.

"Felicity. Hello," he greeted as I nearly walked into his chest in the mausoleum. I startled, not paying attention.

"Dragonborn," I replied formally.

"Sarkan," he corrected, his demeanor friendly. "Back from a job?"

Why the small talk? "Erm, yep. I was up in Windhelm." Other places as well, but I didn't need to mention all those details. I doubted Mercer would like it if I did tell him those.

"I'm heading up to Solitude now," he continued.

"It'll be cold," I muttered, thinking about it as a gust of wind carried a few stray snowflakes. into my hood.

"Oh, indeed, but us Nords are just a bit more used to it than you, I think," he nearly boasted. I'm fucking Canadian, I thought, cunt. I may as well be a Nord, climate wise, I just wasn't Scandinavian.

"I can bear it fine," I protested. "Don't have to like it. Anyway. Have fun in Solitude."

I brushed past him after that, lowering my way into the Cistern after that, grouchy. He let me pass. I stalked over towards Mercer at his desk. He glanced up at me, then back down at his work, then back up again.

"What's got you pissed?" he asked.

"Ran into Sarkan," I muttered. I shook my head to clear it. "I don't like that man." Mercer half smiled. I shrugged, digressing. "I finished those.. tasks?" I wasn't sure what to call them.

"Ah. Thank you."

"What's got you pissed?" I countered.

He did tell me. About the buyer, and sending the Dragonborn to speak with Gulum-Ei. I almost wished I hadn't asked, but I was glad to be informed at least, despite the knot that tied itself in my gut.

* * *

Over the next few days, I contemplated what to do, and didn't achieve an answer. I thought, if Sarkan just actually died in Snow Veil Sanctum, wouldn't things be just so much easier? I couldn't help but think that. I tried to feel guilt at the idea of wishing for the end of someone's life, but couldn't find it. He was even a good person. I wondered for a bit if there was something wrong with me, to which the answer was probably, considering what my life and thoughts and desires had come to in this situation.

It was all coming to a head, and I knew I couldn't just sit back and let things happen to me. I had to have a part in this, or Vex would likely crucify me, and I doubted even Brynjolf and Delvin would be able to convince her otherwise. They may even have some suspicions.

I debated confronting Mercer, but it terrified me. It could actually be the end of my life. I wanted to think that he wouldn't kill me out of hand; there was something to our relationship, right? He might be a hard man, but I knew that in some weird way I was valued, the same way I thought of him. It wasn't open sentiment, and even if somehow we continued some kind of relationship past this mess, I couldn't ever see a sentimental relationship between us. I still wanted to keep what we had, though. I enjoyed going out on the jobs he sent me, and returning home to some fantastic sex, good books, and a life as comfortable as one could want in Tamriel. Even gifts. I didn't expect kind words, and they would be out of place coming from him.

We had comfortable silence, and we talked as well. I read books constantly without other pastimes, and I learned that he had chipped through much of his library as well, and we discussed a lot of histories. It was enjoyable. I appreciated that he encouraged me to ignore Vex's glares.

Overall, I had come to no conclusion.


	18. Chapter 18

I was lounging in a chair a few feet behind Mercer's desk reading a book when I heard. Which, it wasn't hard to overhear a conversation taking place just in front of me. Mercer was seated at his desk when the Dragonborn approached. I didn't see him coming, as I was focused on my reading, or else perhaps I would've been more prepared when I heard him begin to report on his trip to Solitude.

"It was purchased by someone named Karliah," he said. I nearly fell out of my chair, but I wasn't supposed to know that name, so I stilled myself and hoped Mercer would be distracted by what he was saying. He looked genuinely surprised, so I supposed he had no suspicions. His head shot up. He mumbled something before the Dragonborn continued.

"Gulum-Ei also told me she was a murderer."

"She's someone I had hoped never to cross paths with again. She murdered my predecessor in cold blood and betrayed the Guild. After we discovered what she'd done, we spent months trying to track her down, but she just vanished," the Guildmaster explained, frowning.

"Why has she returned?"

"Karliah and I were like partners. I went with her on every heist. We watched each other's backs. I know her techniques, her skills. If she kills me, there'll be no one left that could possibly catch her. If only we knew where she was."

"Well, it's a bit cryptic," Sarkan began. "I was told she's 'where the end began.'" Mercer sat back down in his chair and began closing up the books on his desk.

"Ah. There's only one place that could be. A ruin called Snow Veil Sanctum. We'll have to go out there before she disappears again."

"We?"

"Yes, I'm going with you," Mercer huffed, "and together we're going to kill her. Here." The Guildmaster handed the Dragonborn a sack of coin. "For Solitude. Prepare yourself; we'll leave tomorrow."

The Dragonborn nodded. "All right, boss."

I didn't pretend I wasn't paying attention. I doubted I could've hidden it anyway, as I had closed my book and put my feet down while I was focused. Once the Guildmaster finished closing up his desk, he got up and made for the door, which I was seated near. I was looking at him, and he met me eyes for a second without stopping in his path.

"I want to come," I blurted out. I don't know what made me say it. I think I just wanted something between fleeing and waiting around. I knew I couldn't do either, so I blurted out the first thing that came into my mind. It might've been a dumb thing to say. He looked me in the eye for a second.

"No." He left through the door and I jumped up follow. The Breton didn't acknowledge me until we arrived in his house, when he turned to face me with a confused look. "Why?"

It gave me pause. Why? What could I say? I couldn't tell him what I knew, so I wasn't sure what to say instead. He just waited while my brain worked, though I came to no conclusion.

"It's not happening. You're going nowhere near Karliah."

"I just feel like it's going to be important," I bluffed. I did, and I was worried. Maybe if Mercer stabbed the Dragonborn properly...? I cut that though off, a bit unsure about how I felt. I was considering murder. I could die. Karliah could kill me. Mercer could kill me.

It was a strange thing to think about someone who's bed you share.

"It won't matter," was all he said. "You're not coming." And that was the end of that. I didn't mention it again that night. Mercer seemed suspicious of my silence.

* * *

I had trouble getting to sleep that night, but once I did, I slept like a rock. It was nearly light out by the time I fully lost consciousness, and I doubt I slept very long as it was quite early when I was woken up as well.

The awakening was pleasant. I was drowsy as Mercer gently pulled my hands above my head. I only stirred then with confusion before feeling something rough secure my hands. My eyes flew open fully and I pulled at the binds, finding rope holding me back. I blinked and nearly panicked on reflex before I noticed Mercer looming over me from the edge of the bed. The sight still wasn't wholly comforting, but it stilled me and I tried to ball in on myself. It didn't help I had slept naked because of the previous night's activities.

The Guildmaster didn't leave me to squirm for long before he rolled onto the bed with me and pried my legs open. If anything, that was the most comforting this he had done, since now I knew his intentions. I pulled at the bonds now for my own enjoyment and relaxed into the motions, my pleasure had been heightened even in my brief fear, or maybe because of it.

I shivered as he began to lightly rub circles around my clit, though this didn't last long. This morning he was impatient. Quickly, he was above me, insistently pushing my thighs apart and filling the empty space. The thrust into me at a brutal pace from the start, and I keened pulling at the bonds in pleasure. I finished, moaning louder and louder as my orgasm washed over me. I slumped down afterwards, breathing heavily as Mercer finished up as well. I sat back, dazed, while he moved off me and started to get dressed.

My head cleared a little bit and I tried to sit up, only to be jolted back by my tied hands. I looked up at the bonds and then over at the Guildmaster, now dressed. He looked down at me and I felt another jolt of fear, trying to cover myself unconsciously. He smiled down and touched my cheek in probably the closest thing to sentiment I had ever seen.

"I'm heading to Snow Veil Sanctum," he said, and reached up to actually tighten my bonds.

"Hey!" I exclaimed. My feet were loose, and I could've kicked him, but then he wouldn't take them off for sure. My brows creased in confusion, still unsure of what his plan was.

"These should hold long enough that you don't try to follow me," he explained. I huffed, now enlightened to his plan. "You seem set on coming with us, though I have no idea why. You wouldn't stand any chance against Karliah, and I doubt she will be much trouble for Sarkan and I combined." He appeared to consider this for a moment. He shrugged, and leaned down to kiss me. I kissed him back strongly, focused on that until he pulled away and turned to leave the room.

"Bastard!" I shouted, pulling at the bonds. He was right, I had intended to follow them. "Wait, you son of a bitch!" It gave him enough pause that he looked back at me expectantly.

"Just- just," I sighed heavily. "Just finish the fucking job!" I wasn't sure what else to say, but I turned my attention immediately to the leather tying my arms, stretching the material and trying to reach the knots.

* * *

He was gone for the better part of an hour before I got myself free. I had to slowly work the blood back into my arms after that, but there was no real damage done. Cursing, I climbed into my armour and slung my bow across my back. I stormed down into the Cistern through Mercer's back entrance, only to run flat into Brynjolf, my bow clattering to the ground and my bag throwing my weight off balance. He caught me by the arm and squinted at me with concern. I looked up at him apologetically but didn't want to pause in my rush. I snagged my bow off the ground and spun around to face Mercer's desk. He had rearranged things recently, though I'd never actually touched anything on his desk, so really, it was just my own observation.

"Lass, should you be doing that?" Brynjolf asked hesitantly, watching me from a few steps away. I didn't look up, but continued rifling through the drawers.

"Probably not," I answered, thinking about how he probably shouldn't have left me tied either, so anything goes.

I had been looking for a map, and when I didn't find one, I looked over at Brynjolf in a huff and stalked off past him. I left the Cistern through the ladder entrance, as most people usually did, and Brynjolf was following me. Likely, the second-in-command was worried about whatever it was I was doing. I ignored him as I made a B-line for the Riften gates. He jogged a few steps to catch up to my rushed walk.

"What's got you so worked up?" he asked. I didn't answer him, so he kept going. "Mercer? He's coming back, didn't he tell you he's gone to deal with Karliah." I glanced over at him as we reached the gates. I made eye contact for a second and pushed the doors open.

I was met with the empty road. I wasn't sure what I had expected to find, but I didn't find it. Mayhap I had planned to rush off after the two, but I had no way to do that with no map and no such trail to follow. There was only one direction they may have gone in, and the only chance I had at finding them was if they had gone on foot and I took a horse, but the Guild frowned on stealing from the Riften stablemaster. I'm fairly sure he pays us for protections. I sighed, and looked over at the red-haired nord.

"I know," I sighed.


	19. Chapter 19

The journey was, to put it simply, hard as fuck. I found myself, clothes torn and out of sorts, most of the day's walk above Riften. My feet ached, my armor was chafing, and the underclothes I wore had been torn in multiple places on bushes and branches. My bow, slung across my back, felt heavier than a truck because of how long I'd been carrying it.

On top of this, I wasn't sure I was headed in the right direction. I was about an hour off the path now, judging by the rough map I had found rooting around Mercer's house. I had decided to worry later about how he would react to my snooping, as my present concern was the Dragonborn's blood leaving his body, oddly enough.

The walk had given me quite the perspective. I had nearly turned back at least twelve times. I questioned what in God's name I am doing, and why. Truth be told, I hadn't fully sorted it out, but I had come to a few conclusions. I was, in a way, betraying the Guild. This in itself didn't bother me, which caused me to question my motivations again.

Was I a bad person?

Did it matter?

I was holding onto what I knew, what was comfortable, and in some backwards way, that happened to be Mercer Frey. The man probably did go out thinking he'd be able to kill Karliah and put an end to everyone who knew the truth, and likely just expected to come home to me with little trouble. I knew it would be otherwise.

I never expected to find myself trekking across Skyrim wishing for the Dragonborn's death, but, on the bright side, Alduin's already dead.

The idea that I was wishing for a man's death and meaning it, not to mention that I had killed since coming to this world, was a bit unsettling for me. It wasn't that I was actually shook by these realizations, but rather it was that I wasn't bothered by these developments. I wanted the Dragonborn dead and I didn't feel a shred of guilt for it. Was I a sociopath? Perhaps.

Such were my thoughts as I staggered through the woods. I stumbled over into the grass, kneeling, exerted. It was then I heard the faint sounds of a horses' hoofbeats. I couldn't bring myself to hide or cower, too parched and tired to do much more than sit where I was. It wasn't long before the horse and rider were in my sightline. I looked up hesitantly, expecting perhaps a guard or messenger, hoping it wasn't a bandit or any such miscreants. It turned out to be a miscreant of a different sort: Mercer Frey. He slowed his horse until he came to a halt in front of me. I refused to look up, studying the horse's hooves.

"I see having no trail to follow didn't deter you."

I studied the ground harder.

"I can't comprehend why you were so set on this."

I don't want to know.

"Were you foolish enough to think I needed some kind of protection?"

I shook my head.

"I can't figure out what it is you seem to know."

I bit my lip before finally speaking. "I know you're stealing. I know everyone probably knows it after this. And I know you should probably run."

He didn't say anything after that for a minute. I continued on my refusal to look, but took it as a good sign that I wasn't on the bad end of a blade. He broke the silence before it could become uncomfortable.

"That's what we're going to do."

It's all he said. A man of few words, for sure. I hesitantly looked up to find that I was being offered an arm up onto the horse. I accepted it gratefully, squished into the saddle in front of him as he attached my bow to the saddlebags. I had nothing to complain about as we began riding down the road at a leisurely pace. Being pressed up a fully armored Mercer wasn't as comfortable as it would have been if he were without the stuff. That would b e unsafe, though. I forced myself to begin to relax, and just as I succeeded in melting into the sway of the horse's gait, he prodded me with a question.

"How did you know which direction to go in?"

"I snooped around your house." I felt a bit more relaxed about that much. I was beginning to think Mercer just saw me as a harmless convenience. I didn't want to make myself inconvenient from here on out, that was for sure.

"I see. And you were concerned about me not finishing the job?" He meant killing the Dragonborn.

"Yeah, yeah I am." This much I was confident in stating. He huffed, but it was a sound of faint amusement.

"I think you've just forgotten your place." Heat rushed to my face and I pretended not to hear it. "Snooping, running off after me? Foolish." He snorted. "At least I don't have to worry about you crying to the Guild."

I blushed, my arms crossed. Everything I had done recently could easily be classified as utterly foolish and somewhat sick. Mercer nudged the horse into a canter, and I was relieved I had horse experience or else I would've come tumbling off without stirrups or anything to hold onto. I could clutch onto the horse's mane or the saddle in front of me, but I didn't want to damage my dignity farther than it had already been. Balancing also gave me something to focus on while we journeyed back to Riften aside from worrying about the days to come.

Sadly, worrying turned out to occupy rather a lot of my time. When we arrived back at Riften, it seemed Mercer had quite a few loose ends to tie up, and we spent another night there. I was no help. I spent the night restlessly pacing, tossing and turning in the bed. I avoided going back to the Cistern. It was my intention not to look any of the people there in the face again, though I wasn't sure where I'd go when Mercer left. I knew I couldn't stay here; they'd turn on me, within reason. I wasn't the most useful anyway.

Mercer stayed up at his desk before coming to catch a few quick hours of sleep. To my surprise, I found myself out of bed as early as he was the next morning, anxiety clawing at my stomach. The soon-to-be-not Guildmaster packed lightly, and I did the same, though I had few belongings. I realized I'd have to go down to the Cistern to fetch my gold, so I did, in the hour just before dawn when no one but Rune was typically awake. It was likely no one but Brynjolf would question my presence anyway. It was lucky I didn't run into him, in the end.

Without any other ideas, I followed Mercer like a lost dog when he left. He made no comments about it, only found me a second horse. I had no trouble keeping up, but the way he kept glancing at me made me wonder if he doubted my ability. I couldn't blame him, as he'd never seen me on a horse.

I didn't ask where we were going, and I didn't really need to. Irkng something or other was all I remembered. I had no idea where it was in Skyrim, so I wondered if we'd be stopping for the night anywhere. I wasn't looking forward to this. A sense of dread was building in my stomach and I don't know if Mercer noticed my silence or not, but he didn't comment on it for the whole journey. Usually, sitting atop a horse would've calmed me, but I was heading possibly to death, though I didn't think that was the most likely outcome. I believed the Dragonborn saw me as some manipulated fool, so he wouldn't kill me. Probably would just send me off into the world to fumble around until I get arrested, which was, really, the plan anyway.

So overall, the question was Mercer. I felt like I was floating through the whole journey. I had no idea what to think or do. I moved reflectively, robotic in my monotony.

Somehow, that ended with us sneaking in the side door of some dwarven ruins. Dwemer ruins, I corrected myself. The place I knew we were going. Mercer took the horses away somewhere; I didn't care at the time. He tossed bedrolls at me and I stepped through the door of the ruin to set them up just inside. When he returned, he barred the doors and started a fire for us. I curled into my bedroll as he cooked some stew oatmeal shit over the fire.

"What's with you?" he finally spoke, bluntly.

"Just wondering what the fuck I'm going to do next," I muttered in reply, staring intently down at the flames.

"What'd you think, I was just leaving you here?"

That was enough to surprise me. My head shot up in surprise, eyebrows raised.

"You're mine," was all he said, spooning a heap of glop into a bowl and passing it over to me. My face reddened and I looked down at my glop greedily, beginning to eat.

That settled things, then. We had to survive this encounter.


	20. Chapter 20

**Author's Note:** here lies the end of this shitty story. wish I could've done it better. hope you enjoyed it.

i'm going to do the next one better, so check out Trouble if you got to the end of this story for some reason, as long as you're cool with it being somewhat darker than the tone of this story.

love y'all

* * *

In the morning, we traveled deeper into the ruins. Mercer seemed more hurried as the others were likely catching up. The dwarven – dwemer – ruins are treacherous and riddled with traps. Without the Guildmaster, I'd surely have died down here. Or out on my own, in general, I'd probably die. Ruins or no. I'd go back to prostitution, or I'd beg, or steal bread just so that I could fill my belly. The sheer depth of the ruin's dangers made me realize just how out of my own league I was in this world. It's something I haven't considered in a while.

Sure, I'd undertaken dangerous jobs. Usually, I'd been able to rely on my wits and gotten through them, but how long would that really last me? Mercer moved through the world with ease; he disabled traps so we can pass and enabled them again once we were gone. He scouted ahead, taking down constructs from behind where necessary. I remained behind, I followed his lead, and I stayed quiet. It is comfortable. Whatever is wrong with me, I'll accept it.

We reached the inner sanctum of the ruins before anyone arrived. The inside is as I remember from the game; it's again, been a while since I considered that I once knew this place as fiction. Occasionally, there is a startling reminder, but in reality, the world around me right now is as real as it gets. Things aren't the same, really, nor are the people. Sometimes, though, sometimes something is just as I expect.

That's how I felt about the falmer statue. It looked the same, but truly a video game can't do justice to the sheer size of the thing. It looked like an old penny, with green discoloration and the same coppery smell. Mercer barely spoke to me, but he didn't have to. Simple commands were a comfort to my state of mind. I relaxed, able to focus on one thing after another.

It wasn't until he dropped the Right Eye of the Falmer in my hands that I considered the size of the thing – amethyst, maybe? Regardless, that was also the moment that hell broke loose, so to speak. The door burst open and Karliah strode inside, bow drawn. With only one entrance to the room, the dark elf had little choice. Hooded and at the ready, she trained her bow on Mercer, who turned to face her immediately. He stood half in front of me.

"Karliah, when will you learn that you can't get the dorp on me?" Arrogance. I remembered another reason I was attracted to this strange man. What is wrong with me? I wondered, but in the end, it doesn't matter because I am myself and I am content. Frey's hand glowed with magic and the whole room shook. Rubble and rocks dropped from the ceiling and I stumbled back, afraid. I tripped to the ground, the gem still clutched firmly to my chest.

When I looked up from the floor, both parties had disappeared. Rubble continued to fall from the sky and water had begun to pour into the room. Frantically, I scanned the ceiling for a way out. Luckily, I knew one was there somewhere. The sounds of a fight from below were distracting, but I focused on the task at hand; truly, I wasn't sure if I was more of a liability or a priority in this situation. Perhaps I was both.

Then I saw it, though it was difficult. A smaller tunnel at the top of the room; likely we'd have to wade in the water until it was high enough for us to climb out, but luckily, or perhaps unluckily, the room was filling fast. A veritable waterfall had formed. As I turned to consider that thought, I was wrenched up from the floor, the Right Eye of the Falmer knocked from my grasp, and my arms were bent behind my back. A knife is pressing insistently at the small of my back, so I still myself as much as possible. Being held hostage wasn't an outcome I'd ever expected for my life. I moved my eyes over to where the gem is lying on the ground and wondered if Mercer would collect it before me. If I'd survive. I could die.

Karliah was breathing heavily. Her grip was firm, but she was clearly exhausted. The use of magicka could be tiring, and considering the amount the two of them had been using during that fight, between invisibility and other spells, I didn't doubt she, and perhaps Mercer as well, could be exhausted. I hoped that Mercer would be able to maintain his invisibility, but it fizzled out before my eyes as well. It was clear that he, too, was exhausted from the effort.

"Mercer. Give me the Key," Karliah growled. Her voice was gravelly and hoarse, and her breath was hot on my neck. I squirmed in discomfort, my arms cramping.

Mercer took a step towards us. Karliah hissed and tightend her grip on me, digging the knife in deep enough to draw blood and I yelped in pain. The former Guildmaster doesn't react, his eyes glued to Karliah, until suddenly, he vanishes on the spot. Karliah is clearly alarmed, as she throws me violently away from herself, digging her knife deep enough to call it a stab wound as she did so. I clattered to the ground next to the Right Eye of the Falmer, struggling to move through the searing pain. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Karliah spin frantically about trying to locate the Guildmaster.

Her armor clattered loudly as it hit the ground when she fell. Her final breath was ragged and moist, coughing and spluttering blood. I watched the blood leak out onto the stone floor of the room. Water was about to reach us, I realized, as I felt my leg begin to get wet. I watched feet step over the dark elf, and next Mercer was kneeling next to me, raising my face to look at it. Warmth flowed from his hands and the pain subsided, but exhaustion became overpowering. Even as I struggled to consider the very real possibility of drowning, I could not manage to keep my eyes open. So, he'd had spare reserves of magic after all. He was using them to heal me.

* * *

When I came to, we were somewhere cold. I could feel it on my face, but I was wrapped up in warm furs. I pulled myself into a sitting position, swearing as the cold bit into my skin. In front of my was a campfire, with food cooking.

Across from it was Mercer. I didn't ask if he'd gotten the Eye of the Falmer. He will have it. It doesn't matter. I'd know. Wordlessly, he got up and spooned me out a bowl of the stew and placed it in my lap. I was starved, and I ate like it, without any modesty. It didn't matter. My fate was decided at this point and there was no reason to be a charmer. Whatever he planned was what I was doing. It didn't matter to me anymore. The thought relaxed me. Regardless, it's over.

"It looks like you're going to get to sail on a ship." My head shot up, a spoonful of stew half in my mouth. The former Guildmaster was settled back onto the stool he had, and he was looking at me questioningly.

"Really?" I spluttered. It must not have been the answer he expected nor the one he feared, since his expression changed to mild amusement and he shrugged.

"We can't set up here again, after all." He gestured with his head off to the left. I looked over, spotting high walls and torchlights. "Windhelm. We can leave tomorrow."

I glanced around at the snow-covered ground of Skyrim.

"Maybe somewhere warmer?"


End file.
